Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Do you share ? Share in term of everything ? Clothes, shampoos, foods, books ? Yes yes yes, I bet you are. I am absolutely agree with "Sharing is caring", but not everything we can share.

I don't share my friend. I want them to stick with me. If someone else take them away from me, I'll evolve to be a very beautiful pontianak and eat them. This is not a joke, I'm serious. Fucking serious. I don't like to share, do you fucking get it ?!

Oh well, it's okay being emotional about this, right ? I just don't fucking share la. I cant type the same statement thousand times just to let glue your mind that we don't share love, friend etc right ? Haih.

If you think you do share, you're mad. Haha.

Oh maybe I am mad :(

Monday, November 15, 2010

He's nothing but a dream.
He reminds me of someone I'd never had.



I am now reaching to a level where everything is not right, everything seems to be so confusing, everything turns into something that I'd never imagined it would be. Kenapa ?

Things are so rumit even yang biasa.

I am depressed, I am sad, I am frustrated.

I used to be so tough handling things alone. I used to be so good alone. I can suck up everything that involves pedih, perit, pilu.

But why Fieda why ?

I am no longer strong to suck it up everything and act like everything is okay. Shaf once told me "you can lie to me, but you never can lie to yourself".

As much as I want to run away from thinking too much on what I am facing now, whenever I turn my head back, they're still following me.
Yes, I need to stop keep things to myself. But how ?

The wonderful times, moments I had, ended so fast. Because everything is actually just a dream, a mistake, I would say.

Yes, thing are so rumit indeed.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


Whenever I am down, they always there to make me laugh.
Whenever I am hungry, they will accompany me to go out and eat and
whenever I am facing a hard time, yupe, there they are, SUPPORTING ME, GIVING ME COURAGE not to give up.

I love you. Yes, all of you. (cause u're amazingggg just the wayyy u aree. yeaaa)

They seriously complete me. Hopefully internship wont tear us apart. We're going to have fun next year right, people ? Kumpul duit banyak2 and pergi Korea ! Kan ? Kan ? or nak pergi Surabaya je korang ? HAR HAR HAR.

Whatever happens in the future, just keep in mind I sayang korang. Mana lagi nak dapat kawan yang "kecoh" kan ? Mintak2 nanti intern dah x ada dah habit nak jalan satu line 10 orang. Imagine if we go out to malls. Ya allah, kasihan gila orang nak lalu lalang kan ?

Okay people, I'm not trying to be jiwang all of sudden, it just that being alone in my room made me emotional sekejap. Tak tahu la kenapa emo je sekarang. Haih. Study melayang, tak study pun ! Exams coming up and heck, malas nak mati. :(

OH ! And not to forget these fellas. They are my drugs ! I love them to death ! There is no word can describe how enjoy I am whenever they are around. No more tears, no more stress. I wanna keep all of you in my pocket boleh ? I dont want anyone else take you away from me. Sayang sangat totak ! ;) (Hi Shaf ! Hi Juf ! Hi Mo! *lambai2* )

Because u see people, I am as strong as the table i dance on, the music i play, and the friends i roll with. Got me, mates ? ;)

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

my family. ;)

i love you.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

haters all around,
they can always be found,
hating on me or hating on u,
they have nothing else better to do.

always talking shit,
but i just say fuck it,

i must be doing something right,
i always got a hater by my side,
so keep hating and i will do up right.


Again & again

i just moved to my new house. yes, again. thanks to daddy because he knows i don't like it much to stay at our previous one. im happy to be back home, seeing mama daddy, the brothers, my niece, and of course the cats ! and the funny part is ;

mama : ado laki handsome dekat sebelah rumah. mesti kakak suko.


BUT, (haha, there's always a "but")everytime i come back here, i dont have a clue on what i should do. DANG !
everyone seems so happy enjoying thier holidays, pergi sana sini. haih.

yes, i only have FEW friends here. u can call me antisocial, but that's the fact people. i dont go out that often when im home. it's not that i dont like to be friends with the people here, but it takes time to get along with them. and by the time i "click", they moved out from here. and nak pergi mana je dekat sini ? besides kb mall, where else should i go ? :'(

and since im expressing my feelings here, i tak tahu la kenapa Alexander Graham Bill invented telephone tapi people these days tak reti nak guna ? they even bought iphone, blackberry and all those expensive phones but sia2 je, tak reti nak answer calls. kasihan sangat mereka2 ini. tak baca manual book la tu.

aih, stress !

so malam ni saya mahu shisha, tak kira, NAK JUGAK !

Friday, June 4, 2010


i'm happy with my life now. having him by my side, really complete everything. i know ive been involved with relationships for few times, but this time, now, he's THE ONE. though i know some people say "your relationship won't last long, bla bla bla" , but this time around, i wanna prove them wrong. i love him so much. he's different from others. yes, he's the one.

i feel so secure every time he put his hands around me, every time he gives me kisses. nothing in the world can tore us apart. the feeling is different this time. totally different. i know i can count on him, yes.

ive been through hell just to be with him. yes, HELL. all those "red code" moments seriously had punched a hole in my memory.
but one thing that really made me so strong to go through HELL, was when he said, "don't give up now, i love u and please bear that in mind".

though we're 2.5 hours apart, but that, never made me tired to meet him. yes, ill do anything just for the sake of being with him. punch me on the face if u think i'm crazy, but that won't change a thing.

so sayang, if you are not the one, then why does my heart tells me that you are?

i love you.

marry me ?

Monday, April 19, 2010

and the following are my agenda for this week.

tuesday : my final lab for analog#2 ! yay. not going to pressure myself with the GAs and the bloody lab report anymore.

wednesday : electromagnetic theory test.

thursdday : communication system test.

friday : most probably going to saloon with nik. and euphonious 2010 ! 6th sense's coming !

and for next week's agenda?


note to self : everything's going to be okay. as what daddy told me; ingat ALLAH. :)

Sunday, April 18, 2010


we were so young back then. happy times, thats all i can remember. definitely NO hard times.

i wish i could travel back the time :(
tsk tsk..
my oh my,.

most of the question i got from my formspring mostly about mabeb. I don't know what's wrong with the person who asked me about that stuff, but i think she/he(haha) likes him ? or maybe I am her/his idol in this case? SUCH A STALKER. ew

i have one name in mind about "who's-the-person". but it wouldn't be a suprise if i mention her name here. oops, there i go. first hint "HER". GAHAHA

anyways, i dont blame people to stalk or gossip, because i do that as well. but not as hardcore as that "someone". and i don't mind answering stupid questions at my formspring, because hey that's the point of having formspring at the first place, right?

but to "you",
everyone knows who u are, and that's the reason why people don't bother u that much whenever u gave them comments in facebooks. they told me about your "stalking job" and thanks to them i finally noticed about it. hope u enjoy ur job :) till then. thank you :))

oh btw, i don't like to talk shit about others, in fact, i dont even bother to know about their life, BUT when people start to mess around about mine, "di mana ada jalan, di situ ada HIGHWAYYYY". :)


Saturday, April 10, 2010

I have nothing to do during the weekend. stuck in my room alone, as usual.
I went to ICN yesterday since everyone had their own plan (dating, etc etc).
and i thought of going to TUAH HANG JEBAT theater tonight but ended up eating 3 ice creams, alone. (tropicana, mango and traffic light. haaa, beat that! and others went camping at Taiping) It's not that being alone sucks, but it just that sometimes u feel like u want to have people around you. i keep on checking my handphone just in case someone want to ask me out. how pathetic.

but hey, it's okay it's alright, come on fieda, fight fight fight.

So i have few things in mind on what i should do, tonight. But definitely NOT assignments. (though i have presentation during electrex this upcoming wednesday. PEMALAS! yes, the new me)

so people, p/s: i love you and ice creams, what a perfect combo !

loser bakkkk.

YUMMY, yes ? ;))

Friday, April 9, 2010

another poem !
What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Something for you

dear sayang,

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine.
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

hello people,

i have tons of pending stuffs need to be done, and yes i am such a lazy-ass-cow to complete all of those. assignments, projects and more projects. what the hell, feel like dropping the course and be a stewardess. easy.

but thanks to my new drug, he gave me strength to wake up each days to go to class, (else, ill be sleeping soundly till 10am), advised me to study constantly (kononnya) and be my counselor. hehe.


do u smell something ?


i smell LOVE. *gila cheesy* haha

Friday, April 2, 2010


Since i am in my room most of the time these days, i finally realized that i have talent in writing poems. (if that what people call it ) hahah

so, this one is for my dearest friends :)

As I look back on all that is happened,
growing up, growing together,
changing you, changing me.
there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together.

As I look back on those days,
I realize how much I truly love you, friends.
The past may be gone forever, and whatever the future holds,
our todays are going to make the memories of tomorrow.
The gossips we have together, the laughter, never ever ever ever bore me.
So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love,
hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, my laughter, my sillyness,
for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.


and 6hs,
when i saw you i was afraid to meet you. when i met you i was afraid to kiss you.
when i kissed you i was afraid to love you. now that i love you, i am afraid to lose you

Thursday, March 11, 2010

with all UPAG dancers and FESCO's committees ;)



Universiti Teknologi Petronas
Utp Performing Arts Group.(UPAG)

Great night, great performance, and YES everything was great !

Thanks to all the people who came to FESCO 2010 ya. The crowd was AWESOME !
and thanks to god, i had a blast of night ; dancing and meeting some new dancers from other universities. alhamdulillah.
and fyi, we won 6 awards out of 15 awards.

so people, this is me as a chinese opera ;) hihi
(our make up was FANTASTIC! - untuk chinese je la tapi)

Abang iki, our trainer from PPAG ;)

to Syafeq and Hayad : thanks for coming ya ;) LOVE YOU

Thursday, February 25, 2010


Fesco is next week. We've been practicing days and nights; non stop. If you want to mention about being tired; please think twice. We don't even have time to spend with our friends or go to maple to watch football matches. If we do all of those, we're surely going to be 'flat' the next day.

The Fesco song is overplayed in my head. i keep on hearing the song everytime i want to eat, study or sleep. Crazy. But what to do, if you're already stuck with a commitment, you have to give it all out.

We've been practicing for almost a month ++ now. Imagine this, u have to listen to the very same song and keep on practicing the same steps and routines till at one point, u feel like throwing out. MUAK sangat. But as what i've mentioned earlier; COMMITMENT. yes, i find it is very important to give your fully commitment when u know u have a big rock on your shoulder.

Of course we want to win this so much. Plus, it would be so embarrassing if we lose lagi2 dekat tempat sendiri , kan ? I know the tension is ON, lagi2 when we know how good the dancers from thailand and indonesia are. Haih, pressure.

i know this may sound cheesy, but friends, i miss you so much. i promise i wont be busy after Fesco. During mid-sem break nanti, i promise we're going to ENJOY OURSELVES in Thailand ! SHOPPINGGGGGG !


p/s: I MISS MY 6hs :(

Monday, February 22, 2010

Rindu serindu rindu nya

Okay, i admit my previous post was a bit "over-the-top" (because i was so emotional and i cant control myself to use harsh words.) but now, alhamdulillah. I can put away all of those behind :)

yeah, I've been busy.
Yes, HELL busy.

The daily routine :

Wake up EARLY in the morning for classes,
back to my room around 4 or 5pm.
Go to dance practice at 8.30pm till 12.00am.
the same thing cycles over and over again.

Tired ?
YES, i am.

Do i have enough time to sleep and study ?

Miss to hang out with friends ?

hope you guys can make it to FESCO ya

Thursday, February 11, 2010

FESCO 2010

These are the faces i see every night !
We just can't stop dancing (traditionally, this time) and that's what we do all night !

So people, come and watch us perform ;

DATE : 6th March 2010
LOCATION : Chancellor Hall, UTP

There will be other performances from 20 different Universities as well.
And as you can see from the poster, 3 universities from overseas will be joining us.
FESCO this year is totally different from previous years as there will be around 15 types of awards to be given. (the best showmanship, the best dress, the best bla bla bla)

and YOU,
yes YOU !

should come and support us because the audience will get the chance to vote !
And you won't regret because we (the dancers) promise to give our best performance ever !

Do get your ticket now !

please please please please COME. :)
It's 8.01 am and i have class at 8.00 am today.

As in

But since today is Friday, NONE of my friends want to go to class.

So now I am having problem on deciding whether i should go to class or just jump on my bed and SLEEP, which is GOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

P/S: This is sick. Friends influence me A LOT ! Damn you, girls.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Question :

you watched Juliana And Bill reality tv show ? They got married at Capri Island, Italy and i am absolutely in love with that place !


I should save up some money from now !
Hmm, maybe having someone special to accompany me would be good ;)

6hs !


Tuesday, February 2, 2010

AE 2

So today is the first day for Analogue Electronic #2 lab session.

Last night my friends and i were a bit "HUH-HAH-HUH-HAH" as we need to finish up the prelab and heck we don't have any clue on what we should do with PSpice. And the only thing we did was writing all the information needed for the prelab and waiting for Lida to finish up the Pspice. Luckily i don't have dance practice last night. Else, i'm dead.

This post is totally not about the hectic situation finishing up the prelab but it is meant to give an early warning for those who are going to the lab session for tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

To make this story simple and short, Dr Mohammad Awan was in a lab just now. He was walking around and i thought he would help me and Cixdia to clear us out on how to plan the circuit for the 4th subtopic for the experiment. Oh well, we were already half way compared to others and we thought he would help us. But, he came to our table, look at our plan and ;

Dr : This plan is wrong
ME : But the technician showed me this is the right one
Dr : This is wrong. If you can't understand a very simple basic, then i think u should think twice to become an engineer, else u should go back home and cook
Cixdia : So sir, can u at least give us a hint to plan the correct circuit ?
Dr : *with an annoying face* I'll give you zero mark if u can't solve this

Then, he walked away and attacked the next victim. HUAHUAHUA. ; Duy and Indra were hell panicked when Dr Mohammad Awan walked at their table. kasihan. But what to do, I was a victim as well :P

And so, I was relieved and tried to discuss with others (who are also clueless), but SHIT, that didn't last long as he came back to our table.

Dr : So, where's your plan ?
Cixdia : Emmmm, we haven't done the plan yet, but we're discussing now.
Dr : I can't wait that long, how come u have to think for one hour to solve one simple thing (padahal tak sampai 5 minit pun ! ERGH )
Me : but sir, we're trying. Maybe we need more time to solve this and plus we're discussing now.
Dr : For how long ? I cant wait for 100 years.

So whatever the seniors told me about him was true ; sinis yang amat ! I have to be extra extra careful next time. kalau tak BERDARAH HATI ;p

I almost cried as he pushed and gave me so much pressure but yea yea yea, finally we managed to finish up everything though it was hell hectic during the end of the session as everyone was running here and there. Tak patut kot buat macam ni. Apa tak nya, lab report berjela jela nak kena submit end of the lab session, dengan circuit bagai, graph bagai, calculation bagai, nak tulis everything lagi. haih. Nasib baik once a week je.

So tomorrow, i have to think 100000000000000000 times about going to Analogue electronic #2 lectures. sumpah mood zero nak pergi.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Another lame story.

Tomorrow is the first public holiday for UTPian, yes ! Thaipusam is back !

and this post is surely not about me, celebrating Thaipusam.
Anyways, my timetable for this semester is so frigging pack, i have class from morning till evening and i have dance practice later at night. Super tiring, yes !

But at the same time i feel like i'm lucky enough that i can make full use of my time instead of doing nothing ; you know, gossiping and stalking others at facebook. I find it is very lame for those people who use facebook as their material to provoke and try to get extra extra attention. macam kasihan gila. NO LIFE. what a LOSER. kan ? (sorry if I'm being offensive, but face the fact people )

Talking about the first week of lectures ? Hmmm, nothing much had happened, being super duper happy with my friends though we haven't printed out the lecture notes (YET)and the only thing that made us to use our brain was when this question popped out ;

"eh, nak makan dekat mana ni? cafe pak ali dah pindah. (berfikir selama 10 minutes) alaaaaaaah."

Susah gila nak make a decision on where we should have our lunch. haih. BIG ISSUE.

next, the weather. I know Ive been complaining alot about the extreme weather at tronoh, but what to dooooooo, itu la kerja saya everyday. I know ill never stop swearing about the weather, ya rabbi, panas yang ampun. and so, i have noted to myself, USE SUNBLOCK, BRING UMBRELLA and NO MORE LONG HAIR. Going to cut my hair, soon. short and black. yes, soon ;)

OH, since tomorrow is a holiday, i bet there are numbers of students are going back, and i am stuck here, (as usual). But I can't complain though as i already made up my mind to join fesco and so i need to have a full commitment by attending the non stop dance practices while others are happily balik. Haih.

So people, Happy Thaipusam ya !

Monday, January 25, 2010

the two sunshine of my life :)

Friday, January 22, 2010

Whatever you give a woman,
she will make it greater,
give her sperm she will make a baby,
give her a house she will give you a home,
give her groceries she will give you a meal,
give her a smile she will give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what she is given.
So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of SHIT !

Monday, January 11, 2010

I want to go to Melbourne.

I woke up this morning with a hope ; everything which had happened for the last two days already PUFF! Disappeared. But when i signed in my facebook, i saw status, comments and friends, commenting each other talking about the "red code". They shouldn't do that at the very first place, because they just make thing getting worse. SUPER WORSE.

It is sad enough for me to deal with this problem, especially when i am far away from my close friends. im not sure whether i still have the guts to stand still and act like nothing happen. People cant stop talking nonsense. And the sad thing is that, i don't have the power to change others' mindset and so people can easily buy others' words. Because they are what they are kan ?

But yes, i THINK i am not scared anymore.

A friend of mine told me, if i response to those rubbish, it will make me look more stupid than Jessica Simpsons. And of course i don't want to look stupid. Because I AM NOT.

So for now i don't want to think about the red code anymore. People who are not related to the red code problems suddenly got involved as well. I know they wanted to help, because THEY CARE, but you see, thing is getting worse. :(

and I'm tired.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

I miss Hussein.
I miss the ol' times.
I miss waking up in the morning, and your message appeared in my hp's screen.
I miss to hear you say "hadeyyyyyyyhh"
I miss laughing my ass off every night before i go to sleep.
I miss sharing my problems with you.
I miss eating tepayaki with you.
I miss ALL the teasing moment i had with you.

I just


Thursday, January 7, 2010



Happy 2010 people!

I have tons of plans for my upcoming semester and yeah, i cant wait to go back to UTP.
I miss all my friends
I miss dancing with my starD members!
and I miss my room. :(
I can't wait any longer to burn out all the frigging calories and fats ! Being stuck at home doing nothing, other than eating and watching DVDs, obviously making me GEDEBOINK!
Do you know how it feels like when u are eating big mac and watching the biggest loser at the same time ? Hahaha. You tell me.

Btw, talking about New Year Eve celebration, i had a blast of time with my friends. We had a very nice dinner at Delicious ( the one which is next to KLCC ) then, we went to Beach to have shisha right before the countdown.

Though it was sad enough for me to see my friends and their own partners hugging each other, tak apa lah, i didn't give a damn pun but to keep enjoying myself to watch the fireworks.

Going back to UTP next week ! Ada dance practice :)