Having problem to sleep again. Haih.

I woke up this morning, i blinked my eyes, and shouted "DAMN, IM MARRIED! ". Mama who was just outside my bedroom yelled back " Kawin denge sapo ? Salman Khey? ko ore Ostroliaa? "

I was like "Ostroliaa? " Nooo Nooo, "O to the VER".

After she had criticized my Robert Pattinson saying that he's too pale, not so handsome bla bla, lepas tengok Twilight for the 7th time with her last night, really really made me pissed off.
Sakit hati nya dengar. Non stop okayyyy.

So, who was the guy in my dream ?

Tadaaaaaa~

Entah kenapa boleh mimpi kahwin with Caprice. Ew. Dem boysss. :P

CoOl

Cool isn't it ?


OF COURSE.
Kata Champion. Hehe.

hello.

It's already time for me to continue blogging. Since i have got nothing to do at home, i think id better waste my time writing nonsense. oh well, that's what i do best. hehe

So yea, i am back in Kelantan and it's been raining non stop here. Seriously i am so stuck at home, got no where to go and i am missing my friends.

Talking about life, i am stable for now. i don't have trouble in relationship, stable, so stable. Perfect. Alhamdulillah

So much things had happened throughout this semester, sad stories, happy stories, yes absolutely everything. Well, that's what we call "LIFE".

Star D is back on track !

STAR-D is back !

Black Hole

Ladies and gentleman, please note this ;

Sometimes ,
You don't have to be TOO nice to someone.
You don't have to show that you care about them.
You don't have to be patient in order to fix things.
You don't have to fulfill whatever they want.
You don't have to act like they are your queen/king.

and you know why ?

Because later on, THEY WILL THROW SHIT DIRECTLY ON YOUR FACE.

please, and digest ;)

definitely :)

i am confused.

Swine Flu

If swine flu did not exist at the first place, i would have been in melbourne dah. I got lots of text messages from my friends to confirm about me going to melbourne ke tak. See, my friends love me. They do not want me to get affected by the virus because without me, their life would be so "booohh-ring". And UTP won't shine and have that sparkle sparkle bling bling without FIEDA. hehe. ;)

Well friends, i did not go. It is all because of that bloody virus! ergh!

The google-ing and angan-angan to go to federation square, Yarra River and shopping are
*KEPEK* tak kesampaian.


One says the virus is actually another US propaganda. Well, it might be true but I don't have enough evidence to prove the statement and so I do not want to talk about it.

But now I realise I shouldn’t have think to go there pun, the people I love ARE ALL HERE.
Sayang korang.

See, I am doing alright and I can’t wait to rock utp next semester. ;)

the poyo-est picture ever to people who miss me. HAHA.

Money

hollaback people.

As other people posting their blogs about their super-interesting activities they had during the holidays, me on the other hand got nothing to share at all. i am stuck at home, absolutely no plan, no friend and the worse, no internet. ( fyi, im at the cafe in front of my house. singgah sana menumpang wifi ) With "my heart will go on" as the background song, it suddenly sets me into sad, a very emotional mood. very very emotional, i tell you. Sometime i feel like a loser, staring at my laptop alone, as everyone arounds me is accompanied by human. Real human. ( unlike me who is now with my imaginary boyfriend, Robert Pattinson. Aww, thank you, handsome! )

Just finished reading the books which i bought 2 weeks ago ( Lipstick Jungle and One Fifth Avenue both by Candace Bushnell who is also the author for Sex and The City book ) The best part is that both book mentioned about women who have power and money. Having those, made these women can boss around la kan, including their husband.

So ladies, do you want to have power and money and boss around?

I do.


To whoever love watching channel E, dont you ever imagined to have Oprah Winfrey's private jet, Cameron Diaz's houses, Sandra Bullock's Dresses (eheemm), Carolina's hot hot body ( ada duit boleh sedut lemak kan ? ) Pamela Anderson's boobs and of course Angelina Jolie's husband ? (Fyi, artis Malaysia are not in the list because they are not as rich as those Hollywood stars. And setakat kahwin with datuk tua, em, tak dapat kot.)

Anyways, when you have money, you have power even one day nanti Obama pun nak shake hand dengan kita kan ? But how can i get such money. Even if i work for let say 20 years pun, it wont reach to 12 milions. SHIT kan.
Bila tgk Channel E (bukan Astro Ria, cerita artis malaysia), model yang muka nak pecah busuk sikit pun dapat dalam puluh2 million.

L Nak duit jugak !


Tengok eh, ada ke engineer yang jadi millionaire ?

TAK ADA KAN ?

So, macam mana ni kawan kawan ? Apa kah plan dan langkah yang perlu kita ambil supaya kita dapat menjadi seperti millionaire2 yang ada pada masa ini ?
Saya memerlukan bantuan anda untuk menjawab soalan ini.


People who involve with business are easily become millionaire these days. Even business basikal, kain and cacing pun would at least get around 3 millions in 4 or 5 years.
So, instead of being an engineer alone, should I do business as well?
But in order to have an excellent business, I need to have lots of contacts which involve big people. Yes, BIIIGGG PEOPLE ! And thus, time management is really important because it is not easy to do 2 jobs at one time kan ?

Haa! Though one ! Itu pun saya tak dapat nak jawab.


( Maybe you’ll say I am just writing nonsense as im only in my 2nd year and 1st sem and I have a long way to go. Internship pun tak pergi lagi. But I like to set and plan ahead. I HOPE FOR THE BEST AND PLAN FOR THE WORSE. THAT IS ME. hehe )

En-Za-Di

At last ;
all the hard work, staying up stupid-shit late, working my ass off are FINALLY OVER.
Yes,

It's OVER!

But friends,
Though this is the happiest moment for me, as for now la kan, but when i think it back, i know i'm going to miss all the memories i had throughout this january 2009 semester.

The kicking ass assignments, the shake-bom-bom-dance-practices, these two lecturer
(Abg Zainal Ariff and Abg Fawnizu, you two are d ee girls' inspiration. Though dge2 and microe are frigging tough, but everytime i look at you two during the lectures, the semangat datang tiba2. gonna miss your blur-ness and your kehandsome-ness)

and oh, NOT TO FORGET my friends, especially Enzo , Zahid and Dihaq.
These 3 GAYS are going for intern next sem and

yes yes yes yes, IM SO GONNA MISS ALL OF YOU.

kalau boleh, i wanna ask all of you to stay . But ,....

apakan daya


....


.....
.....
.....



.....




(nangis sat)

.....

.....

Enzo :
You are the coolest friend i ever had. Eventhough u kecik, i always treat u like my big brother. You play soccer like u own the field (macam Drogba hitam), you play guitar like DJ Tiesto spinning the CDJ and you drive your car as in you are the f1 driver. Biarla all of those are POYO, but i like the way you are. You never let me to wear a frown and u always there in times of need. Gelak ketawa, pukul memukul, baca membaca inbox, koyak mengoyak seat kereta dan carik mencarik patung keychain, I rindu tu semua nanti. Kereta siapa lagi i nak koyak koyakkan seat dia ? Nanti masa support Onitsuka, i nak jerit nama siapa ? I nak mengadu dekat siapa kalau i ada masalah ? Nanti rindu tengok you gelek2 menari samba.


:'(


DON'T GO, please ?


Zahid :
Though u always act like u are the coolest people on earth, tapi biarlah. haha.
Nati kawe nok make sambal belace dgn sapo dkt tropika ? Kawe akey rindu ko demo la nati. Biar pun demo oyak demo smak, mace nate archibald kalu amek gambar kok tepi, tapi ambo x kisoh. Ambo tahu demo poyo, tu la ambo kawe denge demo. Demo ni best la.

HAHA.

ladies, zahid is single and available. He knows how to sing and according to him la kan, if you look at him, dari tepi ;
you'll say : FUIYOH, MACAM NATE ARCHIBALD.

so,berminat?



Dihaq :
You are my big brother and a soft-hearted person. U care so much about other people and i like hanging out with you. Your "lunak" voice always ber "dum-dam-dum-dam" in my ear. You're sooooooooooooooooo fucking friendly and a lot of people sayang you ! Everytime lepak, tak pernah tak dengar dihaq tak nyanyi kan ?
Nanti next sem, siapa nak menyanyi masa dinner dekat tropika ? ? ;(



Thought of uploading some candid pictures of them, but the laptop of mine ngokngek a bit.
Takpe takpe, I'll upload and continue more later.


So people, the moral value of the day is "BE LIKE ME"
SAYANGI KAWAN ANDA ;)

I look outside the window.
I see few people holding their bags, books and pillow
Where the hell these people want to go ?
They look fresh and happy.
Unlike me; ugly, horrible and smelly.

Clueless. yes, I am.
"Where do you want to go, mam ?"

I still have 4 more papers to go, damn.





For those who already finished their papers, drive carefully.
INGAT MAK AYAH.
Jangan nak enjoy sangat HMPH !


BENCI BENCI BENCI !

and this one lucky bastard is my
bestfriend ;)

Bouncy bouncy

GOODBYE vector calculus.
so, 4 more to go !

but the saddest thing is that, everyone already left to irc but i am here in my room checking facebook and chatting.
oh yeah!

had a very painful period pain early in the morning and it stopped my "semangat" to study. damn.
it is NOT an excuse i made for not to study today, but shit happens right ?

And just now i was reading reader's digest and one of the articles mentioned about "BOUNCING BACK".
okay, it sounds kinda nerdy here, you know reading reader's digest tapi SEBENARNYA sangat best baca buku itu ye, rakan rakan. Banyak ilmu kita dapat. cewah.
okay, back to "BOUNCING BACK". In the article, the author describes lots of tips in getting back on track. U have to face failure in order to succeed. Tapi when i think it twice, I DON'T WANT TO FACE FAILURE. it scares the hell out of me. For examples, if we get a very low mark in test 1, the probability to get a higher mark in test 2 is very very high. So macam we have to get a low mark dulu la, then baru ada that semangat tinggi to improve ourselves. Macam tu ?

But that's life kan. We can set ahead but to achieve what we've planned earlier terserah pada DIA.

it is already 12.42pm and i haven't touch any of my notes yet. 4 more to go, 4 more to go, fieda!
have to stop myself from online-ing. okay okay, stop!


hadhadiehdaedaufdabcka.2143Y98y98y*()*Y)(.lalala, bla blaaa
blaa blaaa lalala yada yada yada.


see, my hands cant stop touching the keyboards.
okay hands, stop!


lepas ni, nak check emails, check pet society, check facebook, stalk gambar2 orang, and etc etc.
HAHAHAHAHA.


I just cant get away from this online-symptom, GRRRR!

Cakap pasal bounce back la sangat, tak menjadi pun. double GRRR!

Boredom

My life had been so hectic these days.

Been busy with dance practices, non-stop stupid shit assignments and test.

So, if you are wondering "where-i-have-been"?, i bet you know the answer.

People updated their blog mostly to share their so called sweet-moments-snapping-pictures-with-sam-bunkface, the happy and exciting moments during the euphonious itself and to criticize the emcee.

To lynn, sumai, aidil and ana : memang la i tak ada gambar dgn diorg, so tak dapat la nak upload :(

Anyways, my group and i made the opening act as the rector arrived at the chancellor hall. But the emcee didn't follow what we've planned during the rehearsal. We are supposed to be on stage right before the rector arrived, but we didnt get any cue and so we just went on stage after he announced the arrival of the rector. Apa laaaa !
Kelam kabut at the beginning but i am 100% sure that we rocked the stage with the so called robotic dance and of course our jazz dance was superbly fantastically WOW the audience. ceeeh~

Right away after the performance, i seriously can't believe what i saw. Ermie, mabeb and madi just arrived at the entrance. "Memang menyirap tahap dewa monyet". They've promised to come early to watch the performance, tapi itu la janji budak budak jambu UTP.

So ladies, don't put too much hopes on budak budak jambu okay ? ;)
HAHAHAHA

( itu je main point sebenarnya )
Okay, itu cerita last week.


And last thursday, i had 2 frigging test and yes, i don't have much time to bermaple maple or ber-ym. Ada basic dance practical test lagi, assignments lagi.
Ya allah, lama lagi nak habis belajar :(

bak kata orang tu, kahwin la the only solution. OH YEAAAHHHH

Jaga Hati

QUESTION : Can you satisfy every single person around you? satisfy them in term of "jaga hati" or make them feel comfortable whenever they're around you ?

Every person has different attitude and personality. and it is hard for me to predict what's on their mind and so how can i satisfy them ?
if i don't, I'll get into a serious trouble as they will absolutely ignore me later on. kan ?

yes, my life is complicated. Even this small issue matters me. One said to me,
"Fieda, be tough. You're a tough girl, remember ? You've been through a lot; family, relationship,etc. "

If i think it twice, i keep on questioning myself, " am i that tough ? "
If I am "tough" as what the person told me, why the hell i can't handle this stupid matter easily ?

sedih la.

in this case;
Why la "this-certain-people" cant just accept me the way i am. i love to laugh out loud, i am a crazy-wacko-ass whenever i lepak, and i absolutely love being me. Jatuh kerusi bila gelak, terhantuk sana sini, SPELL MY NAME, that's me. yes.
How on earth i want to "convert" myself to be some other person as i enjoy this clumsy-ness of mine. (tapi tak ada la selalu)

I wish i could say this to that "particular-person" la kan, but the fact that i want to "jaga hati", and so all i can do is to keep silent.

Tapi tak kisah la,

I HAVE MY SUPERGIRLFRIENDS, and they love me the way i am.
Thank you, sayang.

okay, word of the day is "bakpo".

Bakpo kito keno study ? Tokleh ko kito belajar sapa spm pahtu nikoh ? Bakpo kito dok nikoh denge ore kayo hok semak, ado keto sport, rumoh banglo 3 tikat.
Pahtu boleh shopping gapo gapo jah hok kito nok. Nok gi mano mano pun boleh sebab dio kayo , so kito boleh beli private jet then suko hati nok gi mano. Pahtu ado chef, gardener, ado maid . sedak deh kalu gitu ?

MEME DOHHHH.


merapu, yes i know. Im bored ;(

feel like punching one's face
life's getting more complicated than ever !
WHY WHY WHY it has to go this wayyyy ?! ergh !
nak punch punch, kick kick, tomoi and karate sikit
boleh tak kalau nak macam tu?
boleh lah deh?
ahh!
nok jugoook!
;(

Vday

Happy valentines Day, people !

Though last night I've been fooled by Ermie who said his birthday is today then it turns out that it was basically one of his lame-prank-joke, it does not stop me from wishing all of you a very happy valentines day.

If some say, "we can't celebrate valentines, fieda."
well, I'll reply,
"Screw that! it is not that i am celebrating it. Valentines is just a day that we can express how deep is your love towards your friends or parents. It does not mean we have to hang out or spend our time with our love one.
Valentines is about love, love to our parents, friends and even to our pets! "
(ehe, don't forget to visit my pet at pet society ya, and for those who still do not have facebook, sign up ! and please please please make your own pet in pet society. hehe, been addicted to that application since ever! )

So friends,

i love all of you,
YES, ALL OF YOU
i love you no matter what you all did to me,
all the bahan-membahan-drop-mendrop are like my panties i wear everyday
because i never get tired with all of those,
oh friends, u are my lemak, jantung, hati ku.
aduh! sangat bahagia ada kamu semua.

Enough is enough

i had it enough.
you better stop.













stop from whatever you're doing towards me now.
it hurts.

kau hancurkan hati ku,
hancurkan lagi,
kau hancurkan hati ku,
untuk melihat mu,
kau terangi jiwa ku,
kau redupkan lagi.
dan kau hancurkan hati ku,
untuk melihat mu

Sayonara

i always thought friendship is 'forever'.

but tonight,
I've lost my close friend who used to be

my coke when i am thirsty,
a pillow when i am sad
and
a murtabak-Maggi when i am hungry.

He was such a great friend, a friend who never let me to wear a frown.
And i love him.

But as time flies by, i don't think i know him anymore. He'd changed a lot and he does not give a damn care about me , anymore.
No more cokes until 3 in the morning, no more murtabak-Maggi and of course, no more sharing secrets and laughter.

confuse?
yes, i am.

sad ?
definitely.

But life is about moving on, isn't it ? I have my boyfriend, and my mighty-superwomen who never tired to keep on supporting me, and of course being my counselor.
And so for now, my formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.

I'm moving onnnnnnnnnn bebeh !

Kau yang punya

i miss you, baby

Long distance, waiting, hoping and wishing ;
these words match me perfectly.

being far away from your loved one is not something most of us
have to face.

Sometimes you dream of having your own private jet so
that you can meet your beloved one, immediately, any time.

Sometimes you wish to have your own time machine and so you can fast forward
the time to when you are at the airport, waiting for your partner's arrival.

Sometimes you ask yourselves why the hell you're still here and not pursuing
your studies with him/her.

Sometimes you wonder how you wish to be a superhero character and fly to
your partner's place.

Sometimes you hope for a miracle to happen.

Sometimes you wonder how he/she is doing over there.

Sometimes you wonder will he/she cheats on you.

but MOST OF THE TIME,

you wish him/her to be alright
because you want what's best for him/her.

Now i am back in utp, and the boyfriend of mine is going back to Melbourne
soon.
and the sad part is ;
he doesn't know when he will come back again. oh great~

i had the happiest 2 weeks of my life with him during the holidays
and for godsake, why why why why he has to go back that early. It's not that
i love to whine, i should be grateful that he came back but still,

I WANT TO BE WITH HIM 24/7 :(

yet i know,
all the hopes and wishes won't come to me, directly

because this is life.

and LIFE IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE IN FILM, LIFE IS MUCH HARDER.

and this one little part of my life is called, sadness.

It starts with the letter H

TODAY IS THE DAY.
yes, it is D day.
The result is out and i haven't check mine.


NOT YET.


I want to skip that part as i am now not in a mood of talking about it. It makes my heart crushes apart and i feel like punching someone's face and kicking butts. Yes, it's true.
BTW, lynn's already back in UTP. Settling stuffs, being a facilitator, and i bet she has lots of new friends (The Rakan Masjids) and i can feel that she's getting along very very well with them.
-I know you are, girl. *peace* hehe -


Talking about holidays, I HAD BLAST OF TIME WITH MY BABY. After 6 months of not seeing each other, we felt a little bit awkward at first. You know, do not know where to start, what to talk, a little bit of shy-shy-kucing but what the hell, we went to lots of places during the holidays and we superbly enjoyed each moments we had.

I wish i could upload all the pictures, but there are too many to upload.
So girlfriends, please make yourselves free next week and so we can share all the stories we had, including the pictures ya (: