So not

I wish i can have everything i want. i wish i was borned as a girl who doesn't know how to love. Love is such a problem for me. Love leads me to think negatively, act stupidly, speak and yell like a crazy wacko person, and and yea, i dont want to love anymore. ;(
I'm sicked and tired with all the sweet promises and hopes. all the "yada yada bla bla, i love u till death bla bla" are all bullshitsss.
Mungkin im in pms or wtv, and that's (maybe) one of the reasons why im using the bad words, tapi biar lah. as long as i can release everything ,&&&& i feel good !

okay, tonight everyone's going to celebrate merdeka. and the "bf" of mine pernah told me that he'll be in his apartment and he'll not going to celebrate and "paarrtaaaay-hu-ha-hu-ha" with his friends dekat sana. and i said "fine, tak apa. i'll do the same thing. i won't go out and i'll be in my room, chatting with you". so okay, the deal is on. I canceled all the plans, all the "snapping-pictures-appointments" with my friends, and yes yes yes yes i am absolutely free tonight!
Tapi sedihhhhhhhhhhhhnya bila he called, he said he's with his friends and they are like macam tengah siap siap to a party (a-konon-kononnya-merdeka-party-where-all-the-Malaysian-people-in
-Melbourne-gathered-and-merdeka!-merdeka!-merdeka!) lah sangat~ So, mestila i was pissed off gila gila. Dahla i dah cancel everything and now the so called "chatting-date" pun cancel. ;(

Everything pun went wrong lately. SEMUA LAIN! though lynn,aidil and all the gfs said that i am tough bla bla, handling with this long distance relationship, tapi for me, I DON'T THINK SO.
The promises he made, all the sweety-weety talk, semua semua tu,... *sigh*

Tapi tak apa, maybe ada hikmah. Maybe i need to be more patient, act like there's nothing happen, macam buat bodoh bodoh je. kan? it is better that way, i guess. Lagipun i have test this tuesday. So, terpaksa lah fill in the time yang sepatutnya "chatting-date" tu , to "studying-date".
(Itu pun if ada mood nak study) hehe.


and oh oh, next week is my birthday people! and just now my petbrother, ezzad emir called, and he asked me to go to kl. tapi i haven't decide yet. ye la kan, mana tahu lynn, aidil, cikdia, sumai and amal come out with an idea nak buat suprise? who knows kan? (so, id rather stay here tunggu suprise. if tak ada, buka puasa ramai2 pun NO HAL lah kawan!) hehe. and yea, he said he wants to treat me like a princess bla bla bla with a birthday party lagi! (*picturing me in a dress, ada lots of food, cakes * ) &&& so suddenly all the sadness hilang. ;)
aaaah, i feel alot more better dah.


so yea, happy merdeka day people!


and and and,
to iylia and enzo :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I LOVE U TO BITS bebeh!