My Fingerprints

You've got to be kidding me ?

2012-01-17T23:16:00.000-08:00

Of course, all parents want the best for their kids. But in Kelantan, somehow the parents take things the other way around. They tend to plan among themselves, without discussing and planning further with the kids. For example, marriage.

Currently on my 10 days semester break, I've planned to spend more time with the family especially with my 2 years old niece, Evy. The fact that I am having fever now, I am not capable enough to entertain her with the so called "A-weem-ba-web-dance" and when she started to make the sad-cute faces, I JUST WANNA EAT HER ALIVE.

Mama on the other hand, was so excited to match me with her friend's son. -.-"
This is not the first time she did this. There were 4 families came to my house and were so excited to see me. Feel like being on top of KB Mall and shout "Am I that famous ? ! !" I just don't get the way they think.
I haven't crossed all the 'things-to-do' list and they expected me to get married ? Too soon, Ma. Plus, I am in a relationship, for godsake.

Parents tend to forget their kids are no longer "kids". They have set limits and rely on natural consequences for us to learn from making their own mistakes. And somehow they dictated how their kids should behave and do not expect the kids to disagree with their decisions. Yes, the want THE BEST for the kids, but when it involves the man who is going to marry the daughter, they should loosen up a bit.

Parents are firm, with kindness, warmth and love and somehow it's not wrong for them to set high standards and encourage their kids to be independent.

So, KAHWIN? You've got to be kidding me ? !

Review

2012-01-17T07:22:00.000-08:00

I'm 23; this year.

I have so much to accomplish within a short period. Obstacles are always on the path and I should thank to god for giving me strength to put things together. Without obstacles, I won't learn to stand on my feet and counter the wind that blows me hard.

Syukur.

Never imagine to be in final year and only 2 semester to be completed. I'm proud of myself, very. It's actually an alarm to trigger me to say "It's my turn now to repay back the parent's sacrifices." I should face slap myself hard because I was acting so childish and stupid for blaming them not to give out any effort to make my family any better. It's hard when you have to deal with family problems, but mama showed me how strong she is, handling and dealing them all. I guess I got the strength from my mom. She's truly an idol.

& it somehow made me laugh to read back the 2008 and 2009 post. I got obsessed so easily. Well, that's how it works. You review back your past, you compare and at one point you figure how grown up you've become. Maturity is the word.

I've traveled all the way to be where I am now. Travel in this matter is the journey of countering the physical, mental and emotional breakdown. It's not easy to put the everyday-mask just for the sake of telling people "Hey, I'm okay". Yes, I used to wear it everyday. But at one point, I figured it was pointless.

& Adam Lutfie came into my life. Never fail to stop me from pursuing me dream. He's my drug now. He thought me how to be matured, act and think like an adult. Showed me how to see things differently. The path I had to go through won't be as smooth as it would be without him.

He is my inspiration, my big one true love. The best thing that ever happened to me in life and will be the most important thing for me today, tomorrow and forever. Cheesy ? Naaah.

It's alright.

2011-08-19T03:04:00.000-07:00

Hey people,

Yeah you can call me insane for not updating my blog for almost a year ? And what makes me wanna continue again ? I am currently enjoying my 1 month + holidays after internship. The 8 months internship passed by quickly without me realizing it. It had been a joyful experience and yes I've learned a lot !

So today I've decided to continue posting something in my blog since I am free most of the time. Okay, CORRECTION : ALL the timeeee.

Anyway, I did read back my previous post and most of them are SOOO PATHETIC ! What was I thinking back then ? Sedih all the time ?? Haih. Gapo dio tahu aku duk bobe kokse dulu. Sedih sokmo. Tok molek ore Kelate kato.

Truly said, sedih sorang2 tak ke mana. I am SUPER happy now. I was being too emotional and sensitive. NOT GOOD NOT GOOD. The no-biggie-thing pun I took it seriously. Come on la, to think back again I was so IDIOT.

I am enjoying every ticks I have in life now. I read books, gossips with mama, layan budu, dance alone in front of the mirror (bajet Britney Spears), babysit my niece, gayut with my boyfriend etc etc and yes I enjoy myself doing all of those simple things.

U might say "Haaa aa laa, benda macam tu pun boleh buat lu happy ka ?"

Well to be honest, I'd rather do those stuff than imagining and blaming myself for not being at a cool place and cuci-mata-ing around and act as if my dad drives a Lambo.

Yes, I don't deny I always fall to downhill and cry whenever I face problems. I cried over some haters telling shits about me to others. I cried because of people making bad assumption towards me. I cried over some stupid-no-biggie matters. But that was before. On second thought, I was completely bodoh back then.
The love ones always thought me to be tough and handle things wisely.
Think-before-you-act and learn to let go.

Say "It's alright" if you happen to face difficulties and try to solve them wisely. Use your brain. We are all smart-people kan, so yea "Guna lah otak sebaik mungkin".

Cheers :)

Sharing

2010-12-01T06:13:00.000-08:00

Do you share ? Share in term of everything ? Clothes, shampoos, foods, books ? Yes yes yes, I bet you are. I am absolutely agree with "Sharing is caring", but not everything we can share.

I don't share my friend. I want them to stick with me. If someone else take them away from me, I'll evolve to be a very beautiful pontianak and eat them. This is not a joke, I'm serious. Fucking serious. I don't like to share, do you fucking get it ?!

Oh well, it's okay being emotional about this, right ? I just don't fucking share la. I cant type the same statement thousand times just to let glue your mind that we don't share love, friend etc right ? Haih.

If you think you do share, you're mad. Haha.

Oh maybe I am mad :(

2010-11-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

He's nothing but a dream.
He reminds me of someone I'd never had.

<3

Rumit

2010-11-15T19:19:00.000-08:00

I am now reaching to a level where everything is not right, everything seems to be so confusing, everything turns into something that I'd never imagined it would be. Kenapa ?

Things are so rumit even yang biasa.

I am depressed, I am sad, I am frustrated.

I used to be so tough handling things alone. I used to be so good alone. I can suck up everything that involves pedih, perit, pilu.

But why Fieda why ?

I am no longer strong to suck it up everything and act like everything is okay. Shaf once told me "you can lie to me, but you never can lie to yourself".

As much as I want to run away from thinking too much on what I am facing now, whenever I turn my head back, they're still following me.
Yes, I need to stop keep things to myself. But how ?

The wonderful times, moments I had, ended so fast. Because everything is actually just a dream, a mistake, I would say.

Yes, thing are so rumit indeed.

;)

2010-11-06T05:12:00.000-07:00

Whenever I am down, they always there to make me laugh.
Whenever I am hungry, they will accompany me to go out and eat and
whenever I am facing a hard time, yupe, there they are, SUPPORTING ME, GIVING ME COURAGE not to give up.

I love you. Yes, all of you. (cause u're amazingggg just the wayyy u aree. yeaaa)

They seriously complete me. Hopefully internship wont tear us apart. We're going to have fun next year right, people ? Kumpul duit banyak2 and pergi Korea ! Kan ? Kan ? or nak pergi Surabaya je korang ? HAR HAR HAR.

Whatever happens in the future, just keep in mind I sayang korang. Mana lagi nak dapat kawan yang "kecoh" kan ? Mintak2 nanti intern dah x ada dah habit nak jalan satu line 10 orang. Imagine if we go out to malls. Ya allah, kasihan gila orang nak lalu lalang kan ?

Okay people, I'm not trying to be jiwang all of sudden, it just that being alone in my room made me emotional sekejap. Tak tahu la kenapa emo je sekarang. Haih. Study melayang, tak study pun ! Exams coming up and heck, malas nak mati. :(

OH ! And not to forget these fellas. They are my drugs ! I love them to death ! There is no word can describe how enjoy I am whenever they are around. No more tears, no more stress. I wanna keep all of you in my pocket boleh ? I dont want anyone else take you away from me. Sayang sangat totak ! ;) (Hi Shaf ! Hi Juf ! Hi Mo! *lambai2* )

Because u see people, I am as strong as the table i dance on, the music i play, and the friends i roll with. Got me, mates ? ;)

2010-06-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

my family. ;)

i love you.

2010-06-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

haters all around,
they can always be found,
hating on me or hating on u,
they have nothing else better to do.

always talking shit,
but i just say fuck it,

i must be doing something right,
i always got a hater by my side,
so keep hating and i will do up right.

JYEAHHH ~

Again & again

2010-06-06T02:46:00.001-07:00

i just moved to my new house. yes, again. thanks to daddy because he knows i don't like it much to stay at our previous one. im happy to be back home, seeing mama daddy, the brothers, my niece, and of course the cats ! and the funny part is ;

mama : ado laki handsome dekat sebelah rumah. mesti kakak suko.

OIMAIGAD. :P

BUT, (haha, there's always a "but")everytime i come back here, i dont have a clue on what i should do. DANG !
everyone seems so happy enjoying thier holidays, pergi sana sini. haih.

yes, i only have FEW friends here. u can call me antisocial, but that's the fact people. i dont go out that often when im home. it's not that i dont like to be friends with the people here, but it takes time to get along with them. and by the time i "click", they moved out from here. and nak pergi mana je dekat sini ? besides kb mall, where else should i go ? :'(

and since im expressing my feelings here, i tak tahu la kenapa Alexander Graham Bill invented telephone tapi people these days tak reti nak guna ? they even bought iphone, blackberry and all those expensive phones but sia2 je, tak reti nak answer calls. kasihan sangat mereka2 ini. tak baca manual book la tu.

aih, stress !

so malam ni saya mahu shisha, tak kira, NAK JUGAK !

him.

2010-06-04T23:46:00.000-07:00

i'm happy with my life now. having him by my side, really complete everything. i know ive been involved with relationships for few times, but this time, now, he's THE ONE. though i know some people say "your relationship won't last long, bla bla bla" , but this time around, i wanna prove them wrong. i love him so much. he's different from others. yes, he's the one.

i feel so secure every time he put his hands around me, every time he gives me kisses. nothing in the world can tore us apart. the feeling is different this time. totally different. i know i can count on him, yes.

ive been through hell just to be with him. yes, HELL. all those "red code" moments seriously had punched a hole in my memory.
but one thing that really made me so strong to go through HELL, was when he said, "don't give up now, i love u and please bear that in mind".

though we're 2.5 hours apart, but that, never made me tired to meet him. yes, ill do anything just for the sake of being with him. punch me on the face if u think i'm crazy, but that won't change a thing.

so sayang, if you are not the one, then why does my heart tells me that you are?

i love you.

marry me ?

2010-04-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

and the following are my agenda for this week.

tuesday : my final lab for analog#2 ! yay. not going to pressure myself with the GAs and the bloody lab report anymore.

wednesday : electromagnetic theory test.

thursdday : communication system test.

friday : most probably going to saloon with nik. and euphonious 2010 ! 6th sense's coming !

and for next week's agenda?

IT'S GOING TO BE "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" !

note to self : everything's going to be okay. as what daddy told me; ingat ALLAH. :)

Young.

2010-04-18T09:51:00.001-07:00

we were so young back then. happy times, thats all i can remember. definitely NO hard times.

i wish i could travel back the time :(
tsk tsk..

2010-04-18T09:16:00.000-07:00

my oh my,.

most of the question i got from my formspring mostly about mabeb. I don't know what's wrong with the person who asked me about that stuff, but i think she/he(haha) likes him ? or maybe I am her/his idol in this case? SUCH A STALKER. ew

i have one name in mind about "who's-the-person". but it wouldn't be a suprise if i mention her name here. oops, there i go. first hint "HER". GAHAHA

anyways, i dont blame people to stalk or gossip, because i do that as well. but not as hardcore as that "someone". and i don't mind answering stupid questions at my formspring, because hey that's the point of having formspring at the first place, right?

but to "you",
everyone knows who u are, and that's the reason why people don't bother u that much whenever u gave them comments in facebooks. they told me about your "stalking job" and thanks to them i finally noticed about it. hope u enjoy ur job :) till then. thank you :))

oh btw, i don't like to talk shit about others, in fact, i dont even bother to know about their life, BUT when people start to mess around about mine, "di mana ada jalan, di situ ada HIGHWAYYYY". :)

love.

2010-04-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

I have nothing to do during the weekend. stuck in my room alone, as usual.
I went to ICN yesterday since everyone had their own plan (dating, etc etc).
and i thought of going to TUAH HANG JEBAT theater tonight but ended up eating 3 ice creams, alone. (tropicana, mango and traffic light. haaa, beat that! and others went camping at Taiping) It's not that being alone sucks, but it just that sometimes u feel like u want to have people around you. i keep on checking my handphone just in case someone want to ask me out. how pathetic.

but hey, it's okay it's alright, come on fieda, fight fight fight.

So i have few things in mind on what i should do, tonight. But definitely NOT assignments. (though i have presentation during electrex this upcoming wednesday. PEMALAS! yes, the new me)

so people, p/s: i love you and ice creams, what a perfect combo !

SEKIAN SAHAJA MALAM SABTU SAYA. terima kasih
loser bakkkk.

YUMMY, yes ? ;))

2010-04-09T11:40:00.000-07:00

another poem !
What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me,
Your eyes so bright and blue.
I love the way you kiss me,
Your lips so soft and smooth.

I love the way you make me so happy,
And the ways you show you care.
I love the way you say, "I Love You,"
And the way you're always there.

I love the way you touch me,
Always sending chills down my spine.
I love that you are with me,
And glad that you are mine.

Something for you

2010-04-08T07:10:00.001-07:00

dear sayang,

If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine.
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.

<3

2010-04-07T05:46:00.000-07:00

hello people,

i have tons of pending stuffs need to be done, and yes i am such a lazy-ass-cow to complete all of those. assignments, projects and more projects. what the hell, feel like dropping the course and be a stewardess. easy.

but thanks to my new drug, he gave me strength to wake up each days to go to class, (else, ill be sleeping soundly till 10am), advised me to study constantly (kononnya) and be my counselor. hehe.

wait,

do u smell something ?

haaaaaaaaaaaaaa,.

i smell LOVE. *gila cheesy* haha

LAF

2010-04-02T03:15:00.000-07:00

Since i am in my room most of the time these days, i finally realized that i have talent in writing poems. (if that what people call it ) hahah

so, this one is for my dearest friends :)

As I look back on all that is happened,
growing up, growing together,
changing you, changing me.
there were times when we dreamed together, when we laughed and cried together.

As I look back on those days,
I realize how much I truly love you, friends.
The past may be gone forever, and whatever the future holds,
our todays are going to make the memories of tomorrow.
The gossips we have together, the laughter, never ever ever ever bore me.
So, my lifetime friend, it is with all my heart that I send you my love,
hoping that you'll always carry my smile with you, my laughter, my sillyness,
for all we have meant to each other and for whatever the future may hold.

and 6hs,

when i saw you i was afraid to meet you. when i met you i was afraid to kiss you.
when i kissed you i was afraid to love you. now that i love you, i am afraid to lose you

2010-03-11T11:52:00.000-08:00

OFF TO KRABI AND HATYAI
with all UPAG dancers and FESCO's committees ;)

OH YEAHHHHHHH

THE END

2010-03-11T10:40:00.000-08:00

FESTIVALS COLORS OF THE WORLD
Universiti Teknologi Petronas

Utp Performing Arts Group.(UPAG)

Great night, great performance, and YES everything was great !

Thanks to all the people who came to FESCO 2010 ya. The crowd was AWESOME !
and thanks to god, i had a blast of night ; dancing and meeting some new dancers from other universities. alhamdulillah.
and fyi, we won 6 awards out of 15 awards.

so people, this is me as a chinese opera ;) hihi
(our make up was FANTASTIC! - untuk chinese je la tapi)

Abang iki, our trainer from PPAG ;)

p/s:
to Syafeq and Hayad : thanks for coming ya ;) LOVE YOU

Tired

2010-02-25T21:32:00.000-08:00

Fesco is next week. We've been practicing days and nights; non stop. If you want to mention about being tired; please think twice. We don't even have time to spend with our friends or go to maple to watch football matches. If we do all of those, we're surely going to be 'flat' the next day.

The Fesco song is overplayed in my head. i keep on hearing the song everytime i want to eat, study or sleep. Crazy. But what to do, if you're already stuck with a commitment, you have to give it all out.

We've been practicing for almost a month ++ now. Imagine this, u have to listen to the very same song and keep on practicing the same steps and routines till at one point, u feel like throwing out. MUAK sangat. But as what i've mentioned earlier; COMMITMENT. yes, i find it is very important to give your fully commitment when u know u have a big rock on your shoulder.

Of course we want to win this so much. Plus, it would be so embarrassing if we lose lagi2 dekat tempat sendiri , kan ? I know the tension is ON, lagi2 when we know how good the dancers from thailand and indonesia are. Haih, pressure.

MY UPAG FAMILY :)

i know this may sound cheesy, but friends, i miss you so much. i promise i wont be busy after Fesco. During mid-sem break nanti, i promise we're going to ENJOY OURSELVES in Thailand ! SHOPPINGGGGGG !

LOVE

p/s: I MISS MY 6hs :(

Rindu serindu rindu nya

2010-02-22T23:59:00.000-08:00

Okay, i admit my previous post was a bit "over-the-top" (because i was so emotional and i cant control myself to use harsh words.) but now, alhamdulillah. I can put away all of those behind :)

so,
yeah, I've been busy.
Yes, HELL busy.

The daily routine :

Wake up EARLY in the morning for classes,
back to my room around 4 or 5pm.
Go to dance practice at 8.30pm till 12.00am.
and,
the same thing cycles over and over again.

Tired ?
YES, i am.

Do i have enough time to sleep and study ?
NOPE.

Miss to hang out with friends ?
ABSOLUTELY :(

RINDU :(
hope you guys can make it to FESCO ya

FESCO 2010

2010-02-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

These are the faces i see every night !
We just can't stop dancing (traditionally, this time) and that's what we do all night !

So people, come and watch us perform ;

DATE : 6th March 2010
LOCATION : Chancellor Hall, UTP
TICKET : RM5.

There will be other performances from 20 different Universities as well.
And as you can see from the poster, 3 universities from overseas will be joining us.
FESCO this year is totally different from previous years as there will be around 15 types of awards to be given. (the best showmanship, the best dress, the best bla bla bla)

and YOU,
yes YOU !

should come and support us because the audience will get the chance to vote !
And you won't regret because we (the dancers) promise to give our best performance ever !

Do get your ticket now !

please please please please COME. :)

2010-02-11T16:01:00.000-08:00

It's 8.01 am and i have class at 8.00 am today.

As in
RIGHT NOW.

But since today is Friday, NONE of my friends want to go to class.

So now I am having problem on deciding whether i should go to class or just jump on my bed and SLEEP, which is GOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

P/S: This is sick. Friends influence me A LOT ! Damn you, girls.

2010-02-06T00:32:00.000-08:00

Question :

Have you watched Juliana And Bill reality tv show ? They got married at Capri Island, Italy and i am absolutely in love with that place !

Answer:

I should save up some money from now !
Hmm, maybe having someone special to accompany me would be good ;)

6hs !

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

AE 2

2010-02-02T03:19:00.000-08:00

So today is the first day for Analogue Electronic #2 lab session.

Last night my friends and i were a bit "HUH-HAH-HUH-HAH" as we need to finish up the prelab and heck we don't have any clue on what we should do with PSpice. And the only thing we did was writing all the information needed for the prelab and waiting for Lida to finish up the Pspice. Luckily i don't have dance practice last night. Else, i'm dead.

This post is totally not about the hectic situation finishing up the prelab but it is meant to give an early warning for those who are going to the lab session for tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

To make this story simple and short, Dr Mohammad Awan was in a lab just now. He was walking around and i thought he would help me and Cixdia to clear us out on how to plan the circuit for the 4th subtopic for the experiment. Oh well, we were already half way compared to others and we thought he would help us. But, he came to our table, look at our plan and ;

Dr : This plan is wrong
ME : But the technician showed me this is the right one
Dr : This is wrong. If you can't understand a very simple basic, then i think u should think twice to become an engineer, else u should go back home and cook
Me : *TERBAKARRRR*
Cixdia : So sir, can u at least give us a hint to plan the correct circuit ?
Dr : *with an annoying face* I'll give you zero mark if u can't solve this
Cixdia and ME : *TERBAKARRRRRRRRRRRR*

Then, he walked away and attacked the next victim. HUAHUAHUA. ; Duy and Indra were hell panicked when Dr Mohammad Awan walked at their table. kasihan. But what to do, I was a victim as well :P

And so, I was relieved and tried to discuss with others (who are also clueless), but SHIT, that didn't last long as he came back to our table.

Dr : So, where's your plan ?
Cixdia : Emmmm, we haven't done the plan yet, but we're discussing now.
Dr : I can't wait that long, how come u have to think for one hour to solve one simple thing (padahal tak sampai 5 minit pun ! ERGH )
Me : but sir, we're trying. Maybe we need more time to solve this and plus we're discussing now.
Dr : For how long ? I cant wait for 100 years.
Me : *TERBAKARRRRRRRRRRRRRR LAGI SEKAAALI YA*

So whatever the seniors told me about him was true ; sinis yang amat ! I have to be extra extra careful next time. kalau tak BERDARAH HATI ;p

I almost cried as he pushed and gave me so much pressure but yea yea yea, finally we managed to finish up everything though it was hell hectic during the end of the session as everyone was running here and there. Tak patut kot buat macam ni. Apa tak nya, lab report berjela jela nak kena submit end of the lab session, dengan circuit bagai, graph bagai, calculation bagai, nak tulis everything lagi. haih. Nasib baik once a week je.

So tomorrow, i have to think 100000000000000000 times about going to Analogue electronic #2 lectures. sumpah mood zero nak pergi.

Another lame story.

2010-01-27T22:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the first public holiday for UTPian, yes ! Thaipusam is back !

and this post is surely not about me, celebrating Thaipusam.
Anyways, my timetable for this semester is so frigging pack, i have class from morning till evening and i have dance practice later at night. Super tiring, yes !

But at the same time i feel like i'm lucky enough that i can make full use of my time instead of doing nothing ; you know, gossiping and stalking others at facebook. I find it is very lame for those people who use facebook as their material to provoke and try to get extra extra attention. macam kasihan gila. NO LIFE. what a LOSER. kan ? (sorry if I'm being offensive, but face the fact people )

Talking about the first week of lectures ? Hmmm, nothing much had happened, being super duper happy with my friends though we haven't printed out the lecture notes (YET)and the only thing that made us to use our brain was when this question popped out ;

"eh, nak makan dekat mana ni? cafe pak ali dah pindah. (berfikir selama 10 minutes) alaaaaaaah."

Susah gila nak make a decision on where we should have our lunch. haih. BIG ISSUE.

Okay
next, the weather. I know Ive been complaining alot about the extreme weather at tronoh, but what to dooooooo, itu la kerja saya everyday. I know ill never stop swearing about the weather, ya rabbi, panas yang ampun. and so, i have noted to myself, USE SUNBLOCK, BRING UMBRELLA and NO MORE LONG HAIR. Going to cut my hair, soon. short and black. yes, soon ;)

OH, since tomorrow is a holiday, i bet there are numbers of students are going back, and i am stuck here, (as usual). But I can't complain though as i already made up my mind to join fesco and so i need to have a full commitment by attending the non stop dance practices while others are happily balik. Haih.

So people, Happy Thaipusam ya !
:)

2010-01-25T18:34:00.000-08:00

the two sunshine of my life :)
ETERNITY.

2010-01-22T21:45:00.000-08:00

Whatever you give a woman,
she will make it greater,
give her sperm she will make a baby,
give her a house she will give you a home,
give her groceries she will give you a meal,
give her a smile she will give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what she is given.
So if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of SHIT !

2010-01-11T11:17:00.001-08:00

I want to go to Melbourne.

2010-01-11T02:09:00.002-08:00

I woke up this morning with a hope ; everything which had happened for the last two days already PUFF! Disappeared. But when i signed in my facebook, i saw status, comments and friends, commenting each other talking about the "red code". They shouldn't do that at the very first place, because they just make thing getting worse. SUPER WORSE.

It is sad enough for me to deal with this problem, especially when i am far away from my close friends. im not sure whether i still have the guts to stand still and act like nothing happen. People cant stop talking nonsense. And the sad thing is that, i don't have the power to change others' mindset and so people can easily buy others' words. Because they are what they are kan ?

But yes, i THINK i am not scared anymore.

A friend of mine told me, if i response to those rubbish, it will make me look more stupid than Jessica Simpsons. And of course i don't want to look stupid. Because I AM NOT.

So for now i don't want to think about the red code anymore. People who are not related to the red code problems suddenly got involved as well. I know they wanted to help, because THEY CARE, but you see, thing is getting worse. :(

and I'm tired.

2010-01-10T11:46:00.000-08:00

2010-01-10T06:51:00.000-08:00

I miss Hussein.
I miss the ol' times.
I miss waking up in the morning, and your message appeared in my hp's screen.
I miss to hear you say "hadeyyyyyyyhh"
I miss laughing my ass off every night before i go to sleep.
I miss sharing my problems with you.
I miss eating tepayaki with you.
I miss ALL the teasing moment i had with you.

I just

MISS YOU.

NYE

2010-01-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

GET READY TO RUMBLE ! ! yeah.

Happy 2010 people!

I have tons of plans for my upcoming semester and yeah, i cant wait to go back to UTP.
I miss all my friends
I miss dancing with my starD members!
and I miss my room. :(
I can't wait any longer to burn out all the frigging calories and fats ! Being stuck at home doing nothing, other than eating and watching DVDs, obviously making me GEDEBOINK!
Do you know how it feels like when u are eating big mac and watching the biggest loser at the same time ? Hahaha. You tell me.

Btw, talking about New Year Eve celebration, i had a blast of time with my friends. We had a very nice dinner at Delicious ( the one which is next to KLCC ) then, we went to Beach to have shisha right before the countdown.

Though it was sad enough for me to see my friends and their own partners hugging each other, tak apa lah, i didn't give a damn pun but to keep enjoying myself to watch the fireworks.

Going back to UTP next week ! Ada dance practice :)
wohooo

2009-12-09T11:05:00.000-08:00

Having problem to sleep again. Haih.

2009-11-24T07:39:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning, i blinked my eyes, and shouted "DAMN, IM MARRIED! ". Mama who was just outside my bedroom yelled back " Kawin denge sapo ? Salman Khey? ko ore Ostroliaa? "

I was like "Ostroliaa? " Nooo Nooo, "O to the VER".

After she had criticized my Robert Pattinson saying that he's too pale, not so handsome bla bla, lepas tengok Twilight for the 7th time with her last night, really really made me pissed off.
Sakit hati nya dengar. Non stop okayyyy.

So, who was the guy in my dream ?

Tadaaaaaa~

Entah kenapa boleh mimpi kahwin with Caprice. Ew. Dem boysss. :P

CoOl

2009-11-24T07:29:00.000-08:00

Cool isn't it ?

OF COURSE.
Kata Champion. Hehe.

2009-11-23T07:45:00.000-08:00

hello.

It's already time for me to continue blogging. Since i have got nothing to do at home, i think id better waste my time writing nonsense. oh well, that's what i do best. hehe

So yea, i am back in Kelantan and it's been raining non stop here. Seriously i am so stuck at home, got no where to go and i am missing my friends.

Talking about life, i am stable for now. i don't have trouble in relationship, stable, so stable. Perfect. Alhamdulillah

So much things had happened throughout this semester, sad stories, happy stories, yes absolutely everything. Well, that's what we call "LIFE".

Star D is back on track !

2009-09-14T02:54:00.000-07:00

STAR-D is back !

Black Hole

2009-09-02T03:32:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentleman, please note this ;

Sometimes ,
You don't have to be TOO nice to someone.
You don't have to show that you care about them.
You don't have to be patient in order to fix things.
You don't have to fulfill whatever they want.
You don't have to act like they are your queen/king.

and you know why ?

Because later on, THEY WILL THROW SHIT DIRECTLY ON YOUR FACE.

please, and digest ;)

definitely :)

2009-07-23T08:57:00.000-07:00

i am confused.

Swine Flu

2009-06-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

If swine flu did not exist at the first place, i would have been in melbourne dah. I got lots of text messages from my friends to confirm about me going to melbourne ke tak. See, my friends love me. They do not want me to get affected by the virus because without me, their life would be so "booohh-ring". And UTP won't shine and have that sparkle sparkle bling bling without FIEDA. hehe. ;)

Well friends, i did not go. It is all because of that bloody virus! ergh!

The google-ing and angan-angan to go to federation square, Yarra River and shopping are
*KEPEK* tak kesampaian.

One says the virus is actually another US propaganda. Well, it might be true but I don't have enough evidence to prove the statement and so I do not want to talk about it.

But now I realise I shouldn’t have think to go there pun, the people I love ARE ALL HERE.
Sayang korang.

See, I am doing alright and I can’t wait to rock utp next semester. ;)

the poyo-est picture ever to people who miss me. HAHA.

Money

2009-06-20T02:30:00.001-07:00

hollaback people.

As other people posting their blogs about their super-interesting activities they had during the holidays, me on the other hand got nothing to share at all. i am stuck at home, absolutely no plan, no friend and the worse, no internet. ( fyi, im at the cafe in front of my house. singgah sana menumpang wifi ) With "my heart will go on" as the background song, it suddenly sets me into sad, a very emotional mood. very very emotional, i tell you. Sometime i feel like a loser, staring at my laptop alone, as everyone arounds me is accompanied by human. Real human. ( unlike me who is now with my imaginary boyfriend, Robert Pattinson. Aww, thank you, handsome! )

Just finished reading the books which i bought 2 weeks ago ( Lipstick Jungle and One Fifth Avenue both by Candace Bushnell who is also the author for Sex and The City book ) The best part is that both book mentioned about women who have power and money. Having those, made these women can boss around la kan, including their husband.

So ladies, do you want to have power and money and boss around?

I do.

To whoever love watching channel E, dont you ever imagined to have Oprah Winfrey's private jet, Cameron Diaz's houses, Sandra Bullock's Dresses (eheemm), Carolina's hot hot body ( ada duit boleh sedut lemak kan ? ) Pamela Anderson's boobs and of course Angelina Jolie's husband ? (Fyi, artis Malaysia are not in the list because they are not as rich as those Hollywood stars. And setakat kahwin with datuk tua, em, tak dapat kot.)

Anyways, when you have money, you have power even one day nanti Obama pun nak shake hand dengan kita kan ? But how can i get such money. Even if i work for let say 20 years pun, it wont reach to 12 milions. SHIT kan.
Bila tgk Channel E (bukan Astro Ria, cerita artis malaysia), model yang muka nak pecah busuk sikit pun dapat dalam puluh2 million.

L Nak duit jugak !

Tengok eh, ada ke engineer yang jadi millionaire ?

TAK ADA KAN ?

So, macam mana ni kawan kawan ? Apa kah plan dan langkah yang perlu kita ambil supaya kita dapat menjadi seperti millionaire2 yang ada pada masa ini ?
Saya memerlukan bantuan anda untuk menjawab soalan ini.

People who involve with business are easily become millionaire these days. Even business basikal, kain and cacing pun would at least get around 3 millions in 4 or 5 years.
So, instead of being an engineer alone, should I do business as well?
But in order to have an excellent business, I need to have lots of contacts which involve big people. Yes, BIIIGGG PEOPLE ! And thus, time management is really important because it is not easy to do 2 jobs at one time kan ?

Haa! Though one ! Itu pun saya tak dapat nak jawab.

( Maybe you’ll say I am just writing nonsense as im only in my 2nd year and 1st sem and I have a long way to go. Internship pun tak pergi lagi. But I like to set and plan ahead. I HOPE FOR THE BEST AND PLAN FOR THE WORSE. THAT IS ME. hehe )

En-Za-Di

2009-05-21T01:08:00.000-07:00

At last ;
all the hard work, staying up stupid-shit late, working my ass off are FINALLY OVER.
Yes,

It's OVER!

But friends,
Though this is the happiest moment for me, as for now la kan, but when i think it back, i know i'm going to miss all the memories i had throughout this january 2009 semester.

The kicking ass assignments, the shake-bom-bom-dance-practices, these two lecturer
(Abg Zainal Ariff and Abg Fawnizu, you two are d ee girls' inspiration. Though dge2 and microe are frigging tough, but everytime i look at you two during the lectures, the semangat datang tiba2. gonna miss your blur-ness and your kehandsome-ness)

and oh, NOT TO FORGET my friends, especially Enzo , Zahid and Dihaq.
These 3 GAYS are going for intern next sem and

yes yes yes yes, IM SO GONNA MISS ALL OF YOU.

kalau boleh, i wanna ask all of you to stay . But ,....

apakan daya

....

.....
.....
.....

.....

(nangis sat)

.....

.....

Enzo :
You are the coolest friend i ever had. Eventhough u kecik, i always treat u like my big brother. You play soccer like u own the field (macam Drogba hitam), you play guitar like DJ Tiesto spinning the CDJ and you drive your car as in you are the f1 driver. Biarla all of those are POYO, but i like the way you are. You never let me to wear a frown and u always there in times of need. Gelak ketawa, pukul memukul, baca membaca inbox, koyak mengoyak seat kereta dan carik mencarik patung keychain, I rindu tu semua nanti. Kereta siapa lagi i nak koyak koyakkan seat dia ? Nanti masa support Onitsuka, i nak jerit nama siapa ? I nak mengadu dekat siapa kalau i ada masalah ? Nanti rindu tengok you gelek2 menari samba.

:'(

DON'T GO, please ?

Zahid :
Though u always act like u are the coolest people on earth, tapi biarlah. haha.
Nati kawe nok make sambal belace dgn sapo dkt tropika ? Kawe akey rindu ko demo la nati. Biar pun demo oyak demo smak, mace nate archibald kalu amek gambar kok tepi, tapi ambo x kisoh. Ambo tahu demo poyo, tu la ambo kawe denge demo. Demo ni best la.

HAHA.

ladies, zahid is single and available. He knows how to sing and according to him la kan, if you look at him, dari tepi ;
you'll say : FUIYOH, MACAM NATE ARCHIBALD.

so,berminat?

Dihaq :
You are my big brother and a soft-hearted person. U care so much about other people and i like hanging out with you. Your "lunak" voice always ber "dum-dam-dum-dam" in my ear. You're sooooooooooooooooo fucking friendly and a lot of people sayang you ! Everytime lepak, tak pernah tak dengar dihaq tak nyanyi kan ?
Nanti next sem, siapa nak menyanyi masa dinner dekat tropika ? ? ;(

Thought of uploading some candid pictures of them, but the laptop of mine ngokngek a bit.
Takpe takpe, I'll upload and continue more later.

So people, the moral value of the day is "BE LIKE ME"
SAYANGI KAWAN ANDA ;)

2009-05-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

I look outside the window.
I see few people holding their bags, books and pillow
Where the hell these people want to go ?
They look fresh and happy.
Unlike me; ugly, horrible and smelly.

Clueless. yes, I am.
"Where do you want to go, mam ?"

I still have 4 more papers to go, damn.

For those who already finished their papers, drive carefully.
INGAT MAK AYAH.
Jangan nak enjoy sangat HMPH !

BENCI BENCI BENCI !

2009-05-13T22:10:00.000-07:00

and this one lucky bastard is my
bestfriend ;)

Bouncy bouncy

2009-05-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

GOODBYE vector calculus.
so, 4 more to go !

but the saddest thing is that, everyone already left to irc but i am here in my room checking facebook and chatting.
oh yeah!

had a very painful period pain early in the morning and it stopped my "semangat" to study. damn.
it is NOT an excuse i made for not to study today, but shit happens right ?

And just now i was reading reader's digest and one of the articles mentioned about "BOUNCING BACK".
okay, it sounds kinda nerdy here, you know reading reader's digest tapi SEBENARNYA sangat best baca buku itu ye, rakan rakan. Banyak ilmu kita dapat. cewah.
okay, back to "BOUNCING BACK". In the article, the author describes lots of tips in getting back on track. U have to face failure in order to succeed. Tapi when i think it twice, I DON'T WANT TO FACE FAILURE. it scares the hell out of me. For examples, if we get a very low mark in test 1, the probability to get a higher mark in test 2 is very very high. So macam we have to get a low mark dulu la, then baru ada that semangat tinggi to improve ourselves. Macam tu ?

But that's life kan. We can set ahead but to achieve what we've planned earlier terserah pada DIA.

it is already 12.42pm and i haven't touch any of my notes yet. 4 more to go, 4 more to go, fieda!
have to stop myself from online-ing. okay okay, stop!

hadhadiehdaedaufdabcka.2143Y98y98y*()*Y)(.lalala, bla blaaa
blaa blaaa lalala yada yada yada.

see, my hands cant stop touching the keyboards.
okay hands, stop!

lepas ni, nak check emails, check pet society, check facebook, stalk gambar2 orang, and etc etc.
HAHAHAHAHA.

I just cant get away from this online-symptom, GRRRR!

Cakap pasal bounce back la sangat, tak menjadi pun. double GRRR!

Boredom

2009-04-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

My life had been so hectic these days.

Been busy with dance practices, non-stop stupid shit assignments and test.

So, if you are wondering "where-i-have-been"?, i bet you know the answer.

People updated their blog mostly to share their so called sweet-moments-snapping-pictures-with-sam-bunkface, the happy and exciting moments during the euphonious itself and to criticize the emcee.

To lynn, sumai, aidil and ana : memang la i tak ada gambar dgn diorg, so tak dapat la nak upload :(

Anyways, my group and i made the opening act as the rector arrived at the chancellor hall. But the emcee didn't follow what we've planned during the rehearsal. We are supposed to be on stage right before the rector arrived, but we didnt get any cue and so we just went on stage after he announced the arrival of the rector. Apa laaaa !
Kelam kabut at the beginning but i am 100% sure that we rocked the stage with the so called robotic dance and of course our jazz dance was superbly fantastically WOW the audience. ceeeh~

Right away after the performance, i seriously can't believe what i saw. Ermie, mabeb and madi just arrived at the entrance. "Memang menyirap tahap dewa monyet". They've promised to come early to watch the performance, tapi itu la janji budak budak jambu UTP.

So ladies, don't put too much hopes on budak budak jambu okay ? ;)
HAHAHAHA

( itu je main point sebenarnya )
Okay, itu cerita last week.

And last thursday, i had 2 frigging test and yes, i don't have much time to bermaple maple or ber-ym. Ada basic dance practical test lagi, assignments lagi.
Ya allah, lama lagi nak habis belajar :(

bak kata orang tu, kahwin la the only solution. OH YEAAAHHHH

Jaga Hati

2009-03-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

QUESTION : Can you satisfy every single person around you? satisfy them in term of "jaga hati" or make them feel comfortable whenever they're around you ?

Every person has different attitude and personality. and it is hard for me to predict what's on their mind and so how can i satisfy them ?
if i don't, I'll get into a serious trouble as they will absolutely ignore me later on. kan ?

yes, my life is complicated. Even this small issue matters me. One said to me,
"Fieda, be tough. You're a tough girl, remember ? You've been through a lot; family, relationship,etc. "

If i think it twice, i keep on questioning myself, " am i that tough ? "
If I am "tough" as what the person told me, why the hell i can't handle this stupid matter easily ?

sedih la.

in this case;
Why la "this-certain-people" cant just accept me the way i am. i love to laugh out loud, i am a crazy-wacko-ass whenever i lepak, and i absolutely love being me. Jatuh kerusi bila gelak, terhantuk sana sini, SPELL MY NAME, that's me. yes.
How on earth i want to "convert" myself to be some other person as i enjoy this clumsy-ness of mine. (tapi tak ada la selalu)

I wish i could say this to that "particular-person" la kan, but the fact that i want to "jaga hati", and so all i can do is to keep silent.

Tapi tak kisah la,

I HAVE MY SUPERGIRLFRIENDS, and they love me the way i am.
Thank you, sayang.

2009-03-01T00:45:00.000-08:00

okay, word of the day is "bakpo".

Bakpo kito keno study ? Tokleh ko kito belajar sapa spm pahtu nikoh ? Bakpo kito dok nikoh denge ore kayo hok semak, ado keto sport, rumoh banglo 3 tikat.
Pahtu boleh shopping gapo gapo jah hok kito nok. Nok gi mano mano pun boleh sebab dio kayo , so kito boleh beli private jet then suko hati nok gi mano. Pahtu ado chef, gardener, ado maid . sedak deh kalu gitu ?

MEME DOHHHH.

merapu, yes i know. Im bored ;(

2009-02-16T05:43:00.000-08:00

feel like punching one's face
life's getting more complicated than ever !
WHY WHY WHY it has to go this wayyyy ?! ergh !
nak punch punch, kick kick, tomoi and karate sikit
boleh tak kalau nak macam tu?
boleh lah deh?
ahh!
nok jugoook!
;(

Vday

2009-02-13T22:56:00.000-08:00

Happy valentines Day, people !

Though last night I've been fooled by Ermie who said his birthday is today then it turns out that it was basically one of his lame-prank-joke, it does not stop me from wishing all of you a very happy valentines day.

If some say, "we can't celebrate valentines, fieda."
well, I'll reply,
"Screw that! it is not that i am celebrating it. Valentines is just a day that we can express how deep is your love towards your friends or parents. It does not mean we have to hang out or spend our time with our love one.
Valentines is about love, love to our parents, friends and even to our pets! "
(ehe, don't forget to visit my pet at pet society ya, and for those who still do not have facebook, sign up ! and please please please make your own pet in pet society. hehe, been addicted to that application since ever! )

So friends,

i love all of you,
YES, ALL OF YOU
i love you no matter what you all did to me,
all the bahan-membahan-drop-mendrop are like my panties i wear everyday
because i never get tired with all of those,
oh friends, u are my lemak, jantung, hati ku.
aduh! sangat bahagia ada kamu semua.

Enough is enough

2009-02-13T22:51:00.000-08:00

i had it enough.
you better stop.

stop from whatever you're doing towards me now.
it hurts.

2009-02-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

kau hancurkan hati ku,
hancurkan lagi,
kau hancurkan hati ku,
untuk melihat mu,
kau terangi jiwa ku,
kau redupkan lagi.
dan kau hancurkan hati ku,
untuk melihat mu

Sayonara

2009-01-31T08:34:00.000-08:00

i always thought friendship is 'forever'.

but tonight,
I've lost my close friend who used to be

my coke when i am thirsty,
a pillow when i am sad
and
a murtabak-Maggi when i am hungry.

He was such a great friend, a friend who never let me to wear a frown.
And i love him.

But as time flies by, i don't think i know him anymore. He'd changed a lot and he does not give a damn care about me , anymore.
No more cokes until 3 in the morning, no more murtabak-Maggi and of course, no more sharing secrets and laughter.

confuse?
yes, i am.

sad ?
definitely.

But life is about moving on, isn't it ? I have my boyfriend, and my mighty-superwomen who never tired to keep on supporting me, and of course being my counselor.
And so for now, my formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can.

I'm moving onnnnnnnnnn bebeh !

Kau yang punya

2009-01-27T04:45:00.000-08:00

i miss you, baby

Long distance, waiting, hoping and wishing ;
these words match me perfectly.

being far away from your loved one is not something most of us
have to face.

Sometimes you dream of having your own private jet so
that you can meet your beloved one, immediately, any time.

Sometimes you wish to have your own time machine and so you can fast forward
the time to when you are at the airport, waiting for your partner's arrival.

Sometimes you ask yourselves why the hell you're still here and not pursuing
your studies with him/her.

Sometimes you wonder how you wish to be a superhero character and fly to
your partner's place.

Sometimes you hope for a miracle to happen.

Sometimes you wonder how he/she is doing over there.

Sometimes you wonder will he/she cheats on you.

but MOST OF THE TIME,

you wish him/her to be alright
because you want what's best for him/her.

Now i am back in utp, and the boyfriend of mine is going back to Melbourne
soon.
and the sad part is ;
he doesn't know when he will come back again. oh great~

i had the happiest 2 weeks of my life with him during the holidays
and for godsake, why why why why he has to go back that early. It's not that
i love to whine, i should be grateful that he came back but still,

I WANT TO BE WITH HIM 24/7 :(

yet i know,
all the hopes and wishes won't come to me, directly

because this is life.

and LIFE IS NOT WHAT YOU SEE IN FILM, LIFE IS MUCH HARDER.

and this one little part of my life is called, sadness.

It starts with the letter H

2009-01-08T21:02:00.000-08:00

TODAY IS THE DAY.
yes, it is D day.
The result is out and i haven't check mine.

NOT YET.

I want to skip that part as i am now not in a mood of talking about it. It makes my heart crushes apart and i feel like punching someone's face and kicking butts. Yes, it's true.
BTW, lynn's already back in UTP. Settling stuffs, being a facilitator, and i bet she has lots of new friends (The Rakan Masjids) and i can feel that she's getting along very very well with them.
-I know you are, girl. *peace* hehe -

Talking about holidays, I HAD BLAST OF TIME WITH MY BABY. After 6 months of not seeing each other, we felt a little bit awkward at first. You know, do not know where to start, what to talk, a little bit of shy-shy-kucing but what the hell, we went to lots of places during the holidays and we superbly enjoyed each moments we had.

I wish i could upload all the pictures, but there are too many to upload.
So girlfriends, please make yourselves free next week and so we can share all the stories we had, including the pictures ya (:

2008-12-28T00:29:00.000-08:00

On the bed, with a pillow on my face. i try to open my eyes, but the light is too bright. i can't see a thing. Then, i hear his voice , talking to his parents.
Such a happy family they are. How i wish i could be in this family ; hearing the laughter, the jokes.
God dammit,
I will do anything , YES ANYTHING just for the sake of switching my family to this family.
He's such one lucky fella who has such a perfect family,

A perfect life, i would say.

2008-12-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

i miss this :(

Respect you, nomore

2008-12-02T20:16:00.000-08:00

Hello people.

So I am now in the semester break holiday. wohoo!

Oh well, that “wohoo” only bertahan for one day.

I admit at first I was all excited to enjoy the holidays but since I am now stuck in this holy place of Kelantan, I suddenly wish that I could go back to UTP. It’s not that I hate this place, but every time I am back in here, I will face a lot of problems that sometimes can lead me to be a psycho woman!

To make it more specific, the major problem that I am facing now is;

I have these 2 Barbie dolls which they think they are pretty, but they’re not. They were born to make other people such as their step-relatives to suffer. They love to spread bad rumors about other people too! They like to gossip, create stories and very talented in destroying other’s trust towards you.

To conclude all of those, they are very purrrr-fect.

Perfect in DESTROYING PEOPLE’S LIFE

The Barbie dolls are not in the family because they do not have any relation with me, but they do have relation with my stepsiblings. Weird enough?
I do not want to mention more details about them as I am afraid the private investigator will read this blog and report it to my dad.

UH OH, HELLO PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR.

BUZZ OFF, WILL YOU?

Okay, as what I have mentioned before, the BD (Barbie dolls) are very good in creating stories, especially fake stories. So, one day they created this one HOT story about me.

The title: “fieda kutuk you (sister) and your mom gila gila dekat us”.

gila bodoh, i know.

And oops, there are a lot of subtitles to that.
Interesting enough?

So, when the sister heard about this, (not only about that la, the BD tambah gula garam sikit to make one hot story) she called my dad and asked my dad to watch out and take a good care of me because the Barbie dolls told her, ‘Fieda is such a slut’.
(Lebih kurang macam tu la tapi dgn panjang lebar)

WORDS TO THE BDs :
look yourselves at the mirror first before saying someone else a slut. Pleaseee please pretty please?
Oh ouh! Or you don’t have enough money to buy one? Kasihannya :(

Luckily daddy did not believe all the bullshits and that made the sister became very mad. Mad at him, and of course, HELL MAD at me.
At first, I was sad because she is angry at me on something that I did not do. But when I know about the things that she said to my dad about me, I changed my mind from being sad to –I-HATE-U-TOO-

The words she said to me are totally unforgivable. If she thinks she’s my sister, she should have believed me even though we are not from the same mother. But the fact that she’s still a sister to me, she should not believe to what the Barbie Dolls told her. KAN?

Imagine this, if you know your sister so well, you won’t buy words from someone else. You will trust her unless you have prove ke, evidence ke that she is such a slut and love to condemn you.

And tak ke pelik, in my case la kan, She knows how much I hate the Barbie dolls , and tak ke bodoh aku nak pergi kutuk dia, cerita about her and the step mom dekat the Barbie dolls . tak ada masa. I have lots of better things to do. *wink*

Well,

She has brain, she got the look, but

Sorry, I respected her NOMORE.

And now, this thing is such a big issue in the family.

Haih~

DUNIA DUNIAA,, APA NAK JADI.

But whatever it is,

What the fuck is wrong with the Barbie Dolls?
Don’t they have something else to do besides creating fake stories about other people?

kasihan, i should hire a teacher ke ustazah ke to teach them how to respect others and how to be a nice girl. kan?

Curse me, please?

2008-11-04T20:26:00.000-08:00

life is unfair. yes it is.

even though u have worked your ass off completing certain job, at the end you ended up getting a result that u did not expected.

FRUSTRATED?

of course.

i wonder how the "people" who did not work that hard (ye la, compared to others yang worked their ass off) get a better result or achieve something that is beyond their expectations.

do they have the lucky-charm-curse?

if they do, I WANT IT AS WELLLLLLLLLLL ! !

tolonglah bagi ! :(

anyways, that is not my point here.
the point is, again;

LIFE IS UNFAIR.

so the quote of the month is :

life is a dick, when it gets hard. fuck it je lah kan ! !

and
oh oh oh! btw,
i would like to say thank you to my dearest baby darling lynn for being my dge project partner.

YOU ROCK ,GIRL !

( eventhough u kecik, but u still rocked my sock! )

although we did not have enough time for our beauty sleep these past few days, but i know we had so much fun playing with the wires and the ICs (lah sangat~ )
but the one thing i know, u enjoyed so much making fun of me kan?
that "FARIDAH" name u called me is sooooooooo ZAMAN PAK KADOK OKAY.
tapi whatever lah kan, at least we managed to finish it up and the bloody circuit displayed the fucking output until 18 ! kira berjaya lah tu. hehe ;)

and boyfriend i cakap, we have to work harder ! so next time, kita work harder lah ye ;)

i love you kecik kontot !
here is something i have for you.

wires, ICs, LED ..etc are the heart of ee engineers now,
we sat in a lab till we got hungry and we feel like eating a cow,
but it didnt matter as we are HOT and we know people will say "wow",
because the circuit we made is sooooooo COOL KAW KAW!

the heart , the soul (tapi now dah tak kot)

okay, NEXT !

final examinations :(
LIFE IS UNFAIR BETUL.

The way i celebrate the day

2008-10-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

HOLLA BACK PEOPLE!

ouh well, i know i did not update my blog for a quite long time. it's not i don't have anything interesting to share, i tell you, i HAVE A LOT to share, but the fact that i am hell busy with my works, so tak dapat la nak selesaikan hajat meng-update my blog.

assignments, projects, tests, quizzes, dance practices are killing me. but the genious brain of mine already diset kan to handle all of those with a big SMILEEEE.

OUH, BEFORE I GO ON,
i would like to say sorry to all my so called "die-hard-blog-fan" for not updating my blog.

i know you MISS me.

kan?

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.

ok ok, cutttttttttttt the crap people!

Actually i want to share about the performances me and my group member had last weekend and yesterday. but yea, i notice that everyone posted something about their raya celebration and it's not fair for me if i didn't share anything about my raya celebration kan?
i have lots lots lots of photos and i'm so proud to say that i managed to collect duit raya lagi banyak compared to last year.

My lil brother did ask me ,
"Kak, why the hell you got lagi banyak duit raya than me?"

and i replied back,
"Because i used the sponsored barang from my friends to make me look lawa and people like to give money to lawa people ;) "

So here, i give you ONE of my TIPSSSSS, (banyak lagi sebenarnya) to get duit raya lebih during raya.

BE LAWA AS LAWA AS POSSIBLE.

(haha, sounds so pelik. but anyways,)

BE LAWA!

oh ya, let me explain more about the "sponsored barang" ;

sponsored barang are the things that i borrowed from my friends since my parents said they didn't buy me any baju raya or necklace, or braceletes or whatever stuff that i want for raya la kan. (Sedih kan? )
So, as a back up plan, i borrowed my friend's stuffs
(i wont mention about what barang i borrowed as i have this feeling of "segan" and if i tell pun, i have to kill you later on. sorry ya peminat. )

so, itu lah dia. "BE LAWA" are the words of the day ye.

Okay next, THE BAJU RAYA.

at first, the thought of not having baju raya scared my ass off. ye la kan, amal kept on telling her sister to buy her this baju la that baju la and lynn pulak went to ipoh to buy her baju raya.
Eveyone has their own baju raya! hmmph~

But when i got back to my hometown,

YIPPIEE YIPPIE YIPPIEEEEEEEEEEEE,

The syg syg syg brother of mine bought baju raya for me.
and of course la, i LOOK PRETTY.

( dah kata nak duit lebih, apa dia words of the day tadi, peminat? )

BE LAWA!

Lupa pulak, the boyfriend of mine di melbourne didn't come back for raya. Kesian dia.

"sorry bie, next raya we celebrate together okay? ill masak u kuzi ? ;) "

so here are the pictures of my raya celebration. ;)

the sygness (besties, friends and cousins)

and i have difficulties of uploading some of the pictures as the person in the picture scares the consequences if i upload the picture will affect his/her life. (sound like it's a big deal to him/her kan?) ouh well, tak apa lah.

but anyways, who cares. my dad taught me to respect others, so yes, that's what i do now. ;)

HAPPY HARI RAYA YA PEOPLE!

introducing : STAR D

2008-09-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Star d, is a new dance group in UTP. it is a dance group that perform variety type of dances which include modern, hip hop, salsa, bollywood, traditional, bla bla bla you name it.

definition/elaboration :

star d - (study) as a student, we have to study. although we have passion in dancing, yet we still need to focus on our studies because future is important and without it we won't shine. -is

star d - Star dancers . the members have their own experiences in dancing (traditional, modern, cheerleading) so, the combinations of them will lead to an awesome group - **

at first, we did think of how the rakan masjid will react when they find out about this group. but "WHATEVER", we don't give a damn as long as we don't kacau them. hmmph~
The steps, and the dance routines are all choreographed by the team members. and yes, we don't have limits. we dance , move and shake like we own the stage ;)
-that's what i like about this group.

BTW,
i would like to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to my precious friends for supporting me in joining the group. though i know i'll sacrifice a lot of times from hanging out with you guys, but the fact that the support is "ADA UHM!" i nak terima kasih banyak2. hehe
the 12 of you rock my sock bebeh!

THE UPCOMING PERFORMANCES :

I) ?? dinner -11th october 2008 ( lupa la dinner apa)
II) music fest -18th october 2008

THE MEMBERS :

*) iskandar, pae and uya ( 3rd year 1st sem )
*) firin, mar, esa'k ( 2nd year 2nd sem )
*) iskandar, capik, hamka ( 1st year 2nd sem )
*) ME! ( 1st year 1st sem )

theme : high school students.

i'll upload more photos but different themes.
the theme of high school students is actually one of the themes sebab we don't have any clue on what we should wear.

so uhm. ill update more about star d later, alright!

a good "batik cake" comes from an expert chef

2008-09-23T08:07:00.000-07:00

From the title itself i bet you must be wondering who is the expert chef. well ladies and gentleman, u don't have to fight over with your friends, you don't have to watch tv to remind you back who was the chef u used to see on tv, and you cannot tell me

"expert chef ? , le mak aku lah~"

is a NO NO NO NOOO, DEFINITELY NO.

and now, let me introduce you the new talented + expert + gorgeous + well-rounded chef,

*ME!

i know a few of my friends ( a few je lah ) will completely EXTREMELY jealous (kan ? :P )
and they can't accept the fact that i am talented in baking cake, cooking (itu belum di show off lagi) , frying (definitely goreng telur) and some other things that an expert chef can do.

well ladies, now i prove you wrong. hehe.

so today , me and a so called "jealous-friend-of-mine" decided to make a cake batik. even though it is just one simple cake batik, but i don't mind telling the world that ;

i am proud of myself for finally stepping on to the kitchen's floor for about 1 hour and make the cake batik.
(FYI : it's not easy for the expert chef to "turun padang" , lagi2 masa puasa OKAY ;)

The process of making it wasn't that long, as i have my assistant chef, 'pretty adeera' and that "jealous-friend-of-mine" as my bibik.

HAHAHAHA, THANK YOU BIBIK.

bibik malu malu~

the ingredients are simple; milo, coco powder, marry biscuit , butter and sugar.
(but to have a fantastically yummy yummy cake batik, it must have an expert touch. so, the cake was made by me and the assistants, confirm confirm la sedap kan. )

we added up all together and ada la some magic portion which me, myself and i sahaja yang tahu.

so, here are the procedures of making the cake batik

add up butter and milo+coco powder together

the biscuits

paparazzis shoooooooh~!
they're everywhere, it's so hard being an expert chef kan?

so, that's the story of me making a cake batik. yes, it is just one simple cake batik, but for me it is one SUPER DUPER BIG achievement. if mama knows about this i'm so sure she'll be proud of having me as her daughter.

tak po, balik kelate nati kakak wak so!

and oh, to bibik : gambar you lawa sangat ;P

HAHAHAHAHAHA

The next hot trend calculator

2008-09-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Based on my previous post, i did mention about the DGE project that i have to submit next week kan.
The project is definitely killing me and amal as we have to stay up late just for the sake of adjusting the wires. The project isn't that hard if we know all the procedures, from what we should do, which elements should we connect to other elements but the lecturer didn't teach us much as he said that's our project and we have to do it on our own. WTF la kan?

tapi sabar fieda, sabar.
(and again i've learnt to be patient* hehe.)

I've been running in and out from lynn's room (what's wrong with me? why do i have to mention her name everytime i create a new blog? *sigh*) to ask her on what i should do, because i don't have any clue at all. so ada lah copy hers a bit, but after adjusting here and there, my circuit is much more better than her.

LAGI LAWA.

hahahahahaha.

Tapi the lawa circuit isn't working :(

oh, lupa pulak. the circuit is a 3 bit adder calculator.
It consists of 3 full adders, 3 decoders and 3 7-segments. and to connect all of the shitties, i have to use lotsa wire!

ANDA CONFUSE?
DON'T HAVE ANY CLUE ON WHAT iS ADDER? DECODER?
I KNOW YOU ARE.
hehehehehe

tak apa, tak apa,
that's why im so proud of telling you what are the elements in the circuit because u will garu-ing your kepala and say;

"OMG!WOW! this chick is so awesome! she knows how to make a calculator! "

oh well, thank you thank you, you far too kind ;) *peace.

okay, back to the topic.
i had so much trouble on making the 3 full adders because
"i think it's correct, the connections, the IC, are all betul . tapi why why whyyyyy the display is not correct? "

amal and i had adjusting the full adders for thousands time but the output still tak pernah nak betul. tapi we're an EE engineers kan and ;

WE USE WIRES TO MAKE A RING,
DON'T GET JEALOUS AND HEAR US SING,
BECAUSE ELECTRIC ELECTRONIC IS OUR BLING BLING,
AND BE PATIENT is absolutely OUR THING.

The feeling of throwing and smashing the circuit itu memang biasa. Sometimes i feel sicked looking at the wires, and the ICs.
and the hope of having a DORAEMON is absolutely ON. tapi apa kejadah nya tu.

look at the rhyme again, be patient.

so this is the calculator that 95.08% works.

taken from amal's blog. the handphone bluetooth isn't working. ill add up more pictures later okeh !

The wiring is fantastically lawa. no doubt about it kan? hehe

so, well done fieda and amal, well done!

my hero, my cupcake

2008-09-19T10:13:00.000-07:00

HOLLA PEOPLE!

hehe, :P

i know i didn't update my blog for quite a while and it's not that i'm lazy or wtv, but because of the busyness of being an EE student and a STAR D dancer, (people! thats my dance group. we'll be performing during the corporate grooming and music fest. do come yeah? hehe, "promoting is so my thing" ;P )
i don't really have time for myself these days. The daily routines are definitely sit on the chair, look at the breadboard, cutting and stripping the wires, connect the ICs, and wait for the result. but the result tak pernah nak betul. This project is really killing me. But tak apa, ive learnt to be patient lately. Lagi2 dalam bulan puasa ;)

oh well, i think i should cut the crap, I'll create a new post later on about the DGE project of mine after i have manage to make the project (3 bit adder calculator) works. and about the STAR D of course.

so uhm, LOOK AT THE TITLE AGAIN,

hehe.

hehehe.

im proudly to share with all of you about the sweetness, comel comel comel , and COMELness of my baby.

HE MADE ME A CUPCAKE ! yes, A CUPCAKE ! (satu pun is more than enough, at least it shows that he misses me as well kan? ;) i dont mind if u want to say;

"le, cupcake je. itu pun satu. Dah la tak boleh makan, tgk gambar je?"

but heck, for me that is so sweet ! and i know deep inside your heart, you're jealous kan? kan? kan? :P

TO LYNN : YOU JANGAN NAK JEALOUS , SURUH FAUZAN BUAT KAN SATU okay, syg?. hehe.
TO AMAL : HARIS BOLEH WAK CUPCAKE DOK?
hehe again*
TO SUMAI : UHM, NO COMMENT. hahaha.

so, these are the pictures of my baby baby baby babyyyyy,

concentration is just what he needs to make a good cupcake for a good lady like me ;)

awww, last touch up ?

and it has my name on it. WUUUUUHUUUUUU!

the other cupcakes are actually to meriahkan suasana . hehe ;)

so, are u jealous enough?

yup yup, we've been through ups and downs, but we always try to look forward and we know even though we're far apart from each other, the heart, the feeling are still the same.
No one can change that. NO ONE.

so yea, the post is meant to show off the cupcake. hehe,

ENJOY BEING JEALOUS, PEOPLE! hahahahahahahahahah.

Complicated

2008-09-12T06:48:00.000-07:00

We cant predict whats going to happen next. Sometimes you wake up in the morning and suddenly you realized that you have something heavy on your shoulder that you have to take care of. But heck you know nothing about it. When this happen, you'll get stuck! you try to figure out how to fix everything but you don't have any clue on what you should do.

Talking about love life, honesty is the most important thing you should have between you and your partner. If one tells lies, it will end up REAL BAD. and it's weird if one tells truth, things will end up REAL BAD as well.

so, what we should do? act normal? do nothing?

i dont get it why people will make such a bad assumption if one is trying to tell the truth to him/her partner. The partner himself/herself sometimes should understand the situation as well. Honest , i always hold that in mind everytime i involved in a relationship. But it will be so complicated if the partner do not want to listen and ignore you sampai la dia reda.

QUESTION:

should we lie or should we just tell our partner the truth if we did any mistakes?

ANSWER:

that's what i want to know.

when you are in love with someone, you will do anything, YES, anything. but for those who are not serious in relationship, they thought all of that are bullshit. maybe la dalam hati diorg cakap

-"aku memang serious dgn dia ni",

-"aku dengan dia ni sampai kahwin, confirm"

but the truth, those are nothing but OMONG KOSONG.

sometimes, we expected too much from our partner. we compared the partner with our friend's partner who are obviously different from ours. the surrounding, the people around us, they have their own love stories which are totally different from us. all these will most likely give us some sort of stress. We hope for our partner to change, to understand us better, but the possibilty for the partner to change is 30% unless he/she really wants to fix things out, nak betulkan situation and to be fair for each other.

i made mistakes, people made mistakes. and in my opinion, everyone deserves a second chance. kadang2, we dont realize what we do is actually a mistake until la at one point, baru la we realize that thing we did will lead to a negative result.

Having a real conversation between partners are important as we can share anything , from what we hate, what we like and what we want to change for a better future. if one side is busy with works, and the other side keeps on thinking about this as a serious matter, RELATIONSHIP wont last long.

I've learnt from my experience that we have to slow down, make sure we're in a steady state , tak perlu gopog gapah in handling love matter. if we're NOT, both side will get hurt, REAL HURT.

-sorry-

7th september

2008-09-06T23:51:00.000-07:00

Even though aidil already posted in her blog about the so called "penculikan busayyaf" , i still insist of doing the same thing. It's my day and yes i can do ANYTHING. plus, the main character is ME, ME , ME AND ME!

It is 12am and i keep on looking at my handphone , waiting for him to call and be the first one to wish me on my birthday. But all the waiting semua nya hancur as all the messages i get are not from him. i sign in my msn and yes, i can see he's online. i nudge him, message him but i do not get any response at all. the clock now is 12.45am and he's still doesn't wish me.

QUESTION:
if you were me, what do u feel? you know, waiting for someone you love to be the first one to wish you on your birthday but now he ends up to be the last one.
ANSWER:
only god knows.

I feel sad and mad at the same time, i grab my handphone and dial up his number. i know this is such a stupid move, but who cares. i just want to scream out loud and say how much i hate him.
He picks up the call, singing me the birthday song, but the only thing i can say is "WHAT THE FUCK?" the anger and the sadness are controlling the whole mind and body. i cant think wisely though i know this will ends up badly between us.
so, i end the call and immediately go to lynn's room. i cry and cry and cry. i hear my handphone rings and i know it is him. aidil asks me to answer. so i go out and talk and talk and talk.

he says he has his own reason bla bla bla. and heck i hate him because he knows how to make me smile and laugh again. he makes his stupid jokes that i cant handle myself to stop laughing. (i hate you for that) and i thank god, for saving my day.

I lay down on my bed and i still receive a lot of messages fom my friends (thank you sgt sgt) and sampai at one point, mabeb asks me to go down and meet him because he has something for me. I open my eyes and i can see amal is changing her clothes and

me: amal nak g mano?
amal: uhmm. nk g sahur.
me: okay, fieda nk turun bawoh jupo mabeb smeta.
amal : (dusssssssh, lesaaaaaaap)

so, i go down and meet mabeb. He smiles and gives me one purple paper bag(which he made himself) . surprise surprise surprise, there is one lovely top from zara inside it. i am so frigging happy with the present. how i wish i can hug him tight! (i love you my-so-called-gf).

tiba-tiba, amal appears behind me. she looks so panic and i automatically panic as well la kan. suddenly

KABOOOM!!

i am stuck in one "smelly-square-shaped-blanket". i try to free myself but the "evil creatures" which are definitely EVIL do not want to let me go. I can feel they are trying to lift me up , but maybe i am too heavy for them,
and that they ask me to stand up and walk myself.
(EVIL CREATURES, DAMN YOU!).
at the same time, i can hear mabeb's laughing like an insane people in tanjung rambutan. (kejam kejam)

They force me to follow them. I cannot see a thing and i can feel my feet lecak sana lecak sini and sampai at one point, they ask me to get in the car (tak ke bodoh, mana la nampak kereta dkt mana)

dalam hati:

"what the hell is going on?!"
"where the hell are these crazy-ass creatures gonna throw me?"
"damn you damn you damn you, DAMMN YOUUU, you hear me!"

i sit "brutal-ly" in the car. the crazy-creatures cannot stand with the "super-brutal-tak-duduk-diam" of mine and so they yell at me to be quite. i am panic, i want to cry and how i wish i can be in my room now.

about 35 minutes later, the car stops. i can hear the creatures move out from the car. and one of the creatures which is definitely small and pendek try to grab me. I think of running away but i absolutely pity the small creature and so i willingly follow him/her/it out.

i walk and walk with the "smelly-square-shaped-blanket" covering me. i can hear people laughing and i can hear sumbang voices of cikdia, sha and sara.

i want to know what the fuck is going on,
i want to know where the hell i am,
and i want to get rid of the smelly blanket!!!

i walk

walk

walk

and walk

the creatures beside me slowly open the blanket that is covering me and....

AND

AND

TADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! !

Happy 19th birthday FIEDA! *kecak kecak* (camera sound)

I open my eyes and i can see everyone's laughing at me.
Le, di mcd rupanya.
all the people in the mcd pun gelak sekali. har har har, funny~

i am definitely happy with the so-called-surprise but but the sad thing is

ALL OF THEM ARE WEARING "NICE-NICE" CLOTHES AND ME?

RAMBUT SERABAI, MUKA PUCAT LESI AND i thank thank thank god for meeting mabeb before the "penculikansayyaf" or else ill be kidnapped dengan seluar-buruk-pendek and heck i will run back in a car by the time they open out the blanket.

but what ever it is, I LOVE YOU , KAU, HANG, KORANG!

oh next birthday girl , WAIT FOR MY REVENGE!

TUNGGUUUUU LAAAAAAAAAH ! ! ! !

i love you, friends

2008-09-06T02:15:00.001-07:00

Friends are my ice cream, i have them whenever i'm happy, sad or lonely. they can cool me down when i'm hot and they can cheer me up when i'm down. Having them is the best thing, EVER.
so here is something i have for all the sayangness. ;)

The first one is my best friend, Nur Aimy bt Ruzlan. She's my bestest-trest-test-test-friend ever! She is a girl who has a prettiest smile, pretty face, smart, nice and shiny hair and of course ADORABLE. she's a girl that i can count on and she has my back in times of need. She understands everything , from what i feel, what i want and uhm, EVERYTHING ! !
When we were still in CBN, she was the one who accompanied me to go to the mcd m.jamek (to meet up johannians and victorian. hehe :P) and oh oh my dancing partner in class ! (besides shakey and ixaty) .
WE loved to dance and did some cheer steps whenever the teacher wasn't in a class, kan syg? *how i miss that moment* and whenever the teacher asked us to pass up the homework, mula lah kelam kabut and copy sana copy sini . (dah memang lumrah cbners, nak buat macam mana kan?. hehe)
And oh oh! other students memang dengki and that's why they called us GEDIK. (but but but weeeeeeeeeee'rrrrrreeeeeee not) hehe.

uhm, those are just memories. although she's now in germany, but it doesn't matter pun as we still and still contact each other.
and after one hour of skodeng-ing back my so-lama-friendster-account, i found back pictures of us masa zaman jaafar-tonggek.

from left : farah, ezlina, aimy and i.
place : toilet klcc
year : 2002

seriously, i was laughing to death when i saw this picture at my friendster account. aimy and i looked so childish and and and sooo innocent.

from left : me, aimy and liy
place : marriot hotel
year : 2006

during cbn-sji prom night. liy was a hella goergy prom queen and yes yes yes, we were the perfect-trio of the night! menari sana sini tak ingat dunia. tapi aimy sibuk dgn org tuuuuuu**(hehe)

NEXT, is The mighty supergirlfriends! (amal, lynn, cixdia, sumai, aidil, ana, ummu, asmah, lida) RAMAI? yes, SANGAT RAMAI. They are my nasi and lauk. without them, "siapa lah fieda ni" (u guys better give me something for this! ! ehem*) They are one bunch of girls who love to do homework, nerd (yes, rajin) , gila dinner-dash, gila GOSSIP GIRLS (yay yay) , gila shopping, bla bla bla yada yada yada. Although byk yang "gila"
but i likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *wink sikit*

Although it is my 1st sem degree and i have lots of work to do tapi the mighty supergirlfriends never let me down. we went for a picnic at teluk batik, we went shopping at ipoh and we even joined the larian merdeka!

the pictures at teluk batik byk sangat censored, so tak dapat la nak upload ;)

but what ever it is, i love these people to bits!

and lastly: my so-called-girlfriends jugak but they are not girls, enzo and mabeb. i syg syg syg syg syg them to death! they can make me smile , laugh, and whenever im not in a mood, i'll definitely find them for "sesi-luahkan-perasaan".

&
THE BOTTOM LINE IS :
I SAYANG KORANG TOTAK! *KISS*

C.bass saves my life

2008-09-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was such an awful day for me, lynn and sumai as all of us had this incredibly , extremely, fantastically sakit perut. Seriously i feel like grabbing out my tummy, clean it up, and put it back inside. (seriously I really really wanted to try, but suddenly i realized that i'm not David Copperfield and hell no i can't do such thing.hahaha. )

So, we skipped the academic writing's class yesterday but sadly we still need to study structured programming *sigh* because we had test later on that night. But he tummy of mine kept on making the "krooouhh krrooouh" sound and i can't even concentrate! I wanted to eat ubat but lupa pulak saya puasa. and so, i didn't have any choice and i immediately looked at the bed, yawned loudly, walked to the bed and "krroooh krroooh" (and that sound was not from the tummy. hehe)

It was about 4 or 5 pm when i realized it was raining heavily. So we decided not to go to bazar ramadhan and off to v4 to buy nasi and also some kuih-muih. At first we were all like "Masyaaallah, ramai nya orang." but since the "krroooh krroooh" sound suddenly datang balik, i didn't think much but wiling-ly beratur.
I bought my favorite wedges and ikan keli (yum yum!) and also kuih bakar. (at least ada lauk!)

Lepas berbuka, all of us bersiap siap to the main hall to sit for the sp's test. As usual, we girls, are always late. Make up sana, make up sini, tukar baju , tukar seluar, cari matching shoes , tapi Aidil dengan selambernya keluar from her room with trackbottom (kononnya sempoi, tapi seriously she looked like cikgu PJK. hahaahaha)

By the time we reached at the main hall, all the students already had their own place to sit. seperti biasa, orang lambat selalu kena duduk depan.
but IT WASN'T A PRBLEM FOR US. We proudly and slumber-ly walk to the front. hehe.
(tapi dalam hati : shitttttttttttt, tak dapat tiru lah macam ni)

During the test, i was a bit fucked up as the "kroooouhh krroouhh" sound datang lagi! thought of going to the toilet tapi takut tak sempat finish kan the question. and so, i evolved to be a superwoman, batwoman, jokerwoman, wonderwoman, (you name it) as i had to TAHAAAAAAAAAAN until the end of the test. (seksa , seksa)

Later on after the test, we went back to our house and yes yes yes yes! GOSSIP GIRL time bebeh! we've been waiting for the new season for ages and last night was a blast! all of us sit in front of sab's desktop, watched gossip girl and of course, "BUAT PERUT" as well.
(note: we're still not in a fat chicks category okay. hehe)

Everytime ada chuck bass, ALL OF US screamed like an insane girls. Chuck Bass is soooo adorable and handsome handsome handsome hot! i adore him like i adore justin timberlake. (but justin baby, you're still my number #1 ) haha. i feel like pinching his cheek, hug him tight and i won't share him with sumai, amal, or siapa siapa.
(HE'S MINE. ALL MINEEEEE!)

After finished watching gossip girl, i realized that my tummy didn't make a "kroooh krrooohh" sound anymore.

awwww, sweety weety chuck bass had saved my day ;)
I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE YOU CHUCK!

soft reminder :
watch gossip girl (indirectly nya :watch chuck bass ) (though i don't want to share him with other people, tapi helping people ni is just my kind of thing. hehe)
if you're sick ke, sakit perut ke, pening ke, BECAUSE HE WILL DEFINITELY SAVES YOUR DAY ;)

till then,
xoxo.

What a girl (like me) wants

2008-09-03T00:16:00.000-07:00

Ladies, have you ever dream of marrying one rich and handsome man ? life will be a lot easier if that dream comes true. kan? you can buy new clothes everyday!, you can eat whatever you want and the best part is

YOU DON'T HAVE TO STUDY ! !

ye la, all you need to do :
1)duduk di rumah goyang kaki ,
2)go shopping,
3)go holidays
and and and
4) layan the husband, of course. hahaha.

BUT, after 5 minutes of thinking, having a rich and handsome man , susah sebenarnya. The percentage of him to be a player is 99.9% unless that guy is betul betul betul betul LAIN DARI YANG LAIN.
ladies, you better take note about this.

SO HERE ARE THE EXAMPLES "YANG-LAIN-DARI-YANG-LAIN" :

(since mabeb didn't want to give me his picture, so i have to copy-paste this kid's picture. sebab dia comel momel seperti org di atas nya )

okay okay, i should cut this off before i merapu-ing more. the main point here is that im tired of studying and i want to get over this nerdy-geeky-life! Don't tell me you haven't thought of "bila la nak habis study ni?" , "hah? test lagi? ", bla bla.
and sometimes i feel sick whenever i see numbers. Numbers are complicated. Only complicated people understand numbers. agree?

and yesterday i had a differential equation's test. and it was like shit. The main hall is too small to fit all the 1st year 1st sem students and the students who didn't have place to sit, terpaksa duduk on the stage (ramai2, yes) and they definitely can copy each other dengan senang senang nya. And the questions are fantastically tough. (though at first we did discussed sikit-sikit la on what formula should we use (before test tu start), tapi still tak dapat buat) . unbelievable? believe it :(

-enough about yesterday's test.

and now, we're in Ramadhan month kannnn. and of course my brain won't work perfectly if my tummy is empty. Tambah lagi with the ugly weather in Tronoh yang panas and "hujan-lebat-sejuk."

The stress , the mood semua nya unstable. sometimes i feel like throwing my flipflop at the chinese and indian who dgn selambernya minum in the lecture hall. (oh well, they have to learn how to respect us kan? ) but NO, i can't do such thing. (because I'm extremely nice and i expect those people bagi me copy their assignments ke, report ke, or tutorials. hehe)
seeee, be nice to someone else, and that "some one else" pun will do the same thing. (clever fieda*) i knooooooooooooooooooooow ;)

oh well, all of these are nothing but rubbish. Anak raja, "orang-handsome-but-kaya " won't appear immediately if u kiss a frog. we still have to study. *sigh* kalau tak, who else wants to give money to the government kalau bukan Petronas people kan? hehe. (so, study hard petronas scholars, go! go!).

My boyfriend did advise me to have my own mission and vision at every points or titik-titik in life. he said, that titik-titik/points will automatically lead to another. hm,, confuse enough?

(the truth : i don't understand what he was trying to say, but after seeing him succeed in his life, saya tahu, macam-macam mana pun, i have to try my best to understand what he tried to say).

so here are the mission i have for today:

1) tomorrow's sahur is nasi and lauk (been eating nasi and kicap je tau these days)
2) study structured programming for tomorrow's test ( aaaaaaah! )
3) laundry laundry laundry
4) go to bazar ramadhan lebih awal. (kalau tak, lauk habis)

I SHOULD BE PROUD OF MYSELF FOR FINALLY HAVE MISSION for tomorrow. heheheheh

Teddy attack

2008-08-31T19:12:00.000-07:00

since "ada-la-orang-tu" posted something about "ada-la-orang-tu" punya teddy bears, me , FIEDA, PROUDLY wants to do the same thing.
You can say i don't have modal bla bla, but i'ts okay, I am now in a good mood and all the sadness i had before this already puff!, hilang. Bak kata eeqbal, "Toksah sedih, everything will be okay".
and since i dont have anything to share, cakap about my teddy bear pun, apa salah nya. *wink*

okay the name of my cutie-pie-o is CUFFIE. cuffie stands for emmmm, coffee? (haha!) but after a bit of changing here and there, tukar sana, tukar sini, jadi lah cuffie.

oh well, i don't have any clue why the heck i named him cuffie btw. maybe it sounds so comel momel , and and and and i like to drink coffee! (though x ada kaitan, who cares la kan. hehe). so, cuffie coffee, coffee cuffie! *gedik face* hehe.
(more information : cuffie itu lelaki).
Okay, nak dimulakan cerita, on one sunday evening, faliq, diha, justin , syafeq and i went to pavilion for jalan2 right away after balik from this one majlis pertunangan. (so basically, we went there with baju kurung , baju melayu and all la) then, something "EXTREMELY BAD" happened;

Ada one fabulous girl, named, fieda suddenly merajuk (i have my own reason why i merajuk *wink*) and she said "i want a tedyy bear, THAT teddy bear" *pointing at this cotton machine where you have to fill in the empty teddy-bear's body with the cottons* .

(well, merajuk is my kind of thing, but the result : tak ada siapa nak pujuk, WHY PEOPLE? WHYYYY? :( )
At first, everyone was like,
"jom makan, lapar la", "eh, mana justin? hilang dah?". (konon konon tak dengar apa i cakap or they were borned deaf ).
So, terpaksa la move on to the next stage : Buat buat moody, konon konon nak demam, and jalan perlahan. (it is so hard to attract people's attention kan.)

tapi the result : (syafeq) you nak teddy bear yang mana? HAHAHAHAAHAHAH !

so here are the pictures: (siap ada birth certificate lagi, kalah teddy bear "Ada-lah-orang-tu" woot woot! ) ;)

(since i don't have a picture of his birth certificate, details macam ni pun jadi la)

Name : Cuffie
Birthdate : 19/4/2008
Height : 31 cm
Weight : 116 g
Gender : Male
Fur colour : light brown
Eyes colour : dark brown
Bear family : Rydza

The baju is a bit "yo-yo-yo-yo-whats-up", (oh well, i should blame *him for this) tapi tak apa, CUFFIE HANDSOME.

and oh, cuffie pun ada kawan, but the kawan is not as handsome as him. The name is Yayish. (entah la apa makna nya). it belongs to diha and faliq.

So, the right one is my baby baby and the left one is my anak saudara.

dua dua pun jadi macam ni nanti : "yo yo yo ~" (*sigh* :( )

THE END,,,

So not

2008-08-30T03:48:00.000-07:00

I wish i can have everything i want. i wish i was borned as a girl who doesn't know how to love. Love is such a problem for me. Love leads me to think negatively, act stupidly, speak and yell like a crazy wacko person, and and yea, i dont want to love anymore. ;(
I'm sicked and tired with all the sweet promises and hopes. all the "yada yada bla bla, i love u till death bla bla" are all bullshitsss.
Mungkin im in pms or wtv, and that's (maybe) one of the reasons why im using the bad words, tapi biar lah. as long as i can release everything ,&&&& i feel good !

okay, tonight everyone's going to celebrate merdeka. and the "bf" of mine pernah told me that he'll be in his apartment and he'll not going to celebrate and "paarrtaaaay-hu-ha-hu-ha" with his friends dekat sana. and i said "fine, tak apa. i'll do the same thing. i won't go out and i'll be in my room, chatting with you". so okay, the deal is on. I canceled all the plans, all the "snapping-pictures-appointments" with my friends, and yes yes yes yes i am absolutely free tonight!
Tapi sedihhhhhhhhhhhhnya bila he called, he said he's with his friends and they are like macam tengah siap siap to a party (a-konon-kononnya-merdeka-party-where-all-the-Malaysian-people-in
-Melbourne-gathered-and-merdeka!-merdeka!-merdeka!) lah sangat~ So, mestila i was pissed off gila gila. Dahla i dah cancel everything and now the so called "chatting-date" pun cancel. ;(

Everything pun went wrong lately. SEMUA LAIN! though lynn,aidil and all the gfs said that i am tough bla bla, handling with this long distance relationship, tapi for me, I DON'T THINK SO.
The promises he made, all the sweety-weety talk, semua semua tu,... *sigh*

Tapi tak apa, maybe ada hikmah. Maybe i need to be more patient, act like there's nothing happen, macam buat bodoh bodoh je. kan? it is better that way, i guess. Lagipun i have test this tuesday. So, terpaksa lah fill in the time yang sepatutnya "chatting-date" tu , to "studying-date".
(Itu pun if ada mood nak study) hehe.

and oh oh, next week is my birthday people! and just now my petbrother, ezzad emir called, and he asked me to go to kl. tapi i haven't decide yet. ye la kan, mana tahu lynn, aidil, cikdia, sumai and amal come out with an idea nak buat suprise? who knows kan? (so, id rather stay here tunggu suprise. if tak ada, buka puasa ramai2 pun NO HAL lah kawan!) hehe. and yea, he said he wants to treat me like a princess bla bla bla with a birthday party lagi! (*picturing me in a dress, ada lots of food, cakes * ) &&& so suddenly all the sadness hilang. ;)
aaaah, i feel alot more better dah.

so yea, happy merdeka day people!

and and and,
to iylia and enzo :

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
I LOVE U TO BITS bebeh!

A very stressful moody day.

2008-08-29T03:15:00.000-07:00

here i go again, typing crap.*sigh* today's 29th august and everyone is back to their hometown or wherever they wanted to go to celebrate the upcoming independence day. as for me, i am stuck in my room, staring at the laptop's screen since pagi until malam.
by looking at the title itself i bet u know that im not in a good mood. yes, i am moody, stress, sad, mad and i feel like screaming out loud, but i cant. or else people will call me "Crazy wacko fieda, dah la clumsy gila pulak tu". But now , i already find a way to release all of those negative feeling, hehe by typing crap in my blog la kan. but i dont expect people to read it as it is full with sampah. hmmph~*angry face*

so these are the reasons why im not in a good mood ;

1st reason :

semua orang balik! ! semua org pun balik! at first i did think of going back tapi after chatting with a boyfriend of mine, i suddenly changed my mind.well, i thought i can spend more time with him by chatting and webcam-ming trough msn. tapi he didnt go online that often these days. so, harapan for him to online is tipis. jadi mula lah cari some other way and the way nya is balik to kl and celebrate merdeka there. tapi the last minutes changing plan ni x jadi sebab all of my friends already went back pagi tadi and the one who left pun nak balik with a girlfriend. tak kan la nak kacau. so i am now stress out because i dont want to spend my holidays alone in my room and do nothing. okay if nak study tu boleh, tapi still i want to enjoy the holidays! students need holidays okay, even smart people pun enjoy their holidays ( baca buku ke, pergi zoo, maybe) i appreciate all the concern from my friends sebab they keep on asking me " nak balik ke tak? dont tell me u're going to be here alone?. nak tumpang? nak stay at my condo? bla bla bla" seeeeeee, i have lots of nice-kind-hearted friend! tapi i was absolutely stupid and i wasnt thinking well. (and now i feel like pulling my hair sampai botak) . i did msg my boyfriend but the response is not what i expected. :(

2nd reason :

i skipped structured programming lab just now sebab SEMUA BALIK. so, if i go to the lab, definitely la i'll be alone. plus, i hate the lab tutor for my sp lab (friday je, the lab tutor on monday is okay-okay-je ) last last friday, i was completely clueless on what i should do so i went to lee's place. tried to copy his (tapi indirectly nya belajar sambil meniru la) the lab tutor suddenly appeared behind my back out of nowhere and he said " what are you doing here? go back to your place *with konon kononnya macho + angry face* . i freaked out, so i went back to my place and yet still clueless nk type apa in that blank devc++. benci aku dekat mamat tuh!
tapi thats not the main reason. kan i skipped the lab just now, i thought there will be no homework or assignments sebab x ramai yang pergi. but tadi amal suddenly ckp "eh, kito keno ata lab sp activity esok before 8pm" WTF ? wtf ? so yea, stressful day kan?

3rd reason :

semua balik semua balik! semua orang balik! ; (

4th reason :

what do you feel when someone you love is far far far away from you? and what do you feel when he/she didn't show you that he/she cares about you? sedih? that's what i feel. okay, maybe he's busy or he is still trying to settle things down over there, tapi at least show me that he cares,still. ok look, im not complaining sebab i already get use to it and yea, that is his style. tapi bila dah lama2, u'll be wondering whether he still loves you or not. the so called "emotional-feeling" will lead you to think negatively. ladies, i bet you know and understand about what im trying to say here. fellas, if u think im wrong, SCREW you. SUSAH LA NAK FAHAM LELAKI. they say something, but they meant something else.
so the bottom line here is, i miss my boyfriend and he didn't even send me a single message :(
dah la semua balik, im alone, and i thought if dia msg, i wont be sedih sedih lagi. tapi now,...
*speechless*

5th reason :

semua balik semua balik! semua orang balik! ; (

Me, eyes on me.

2008-08-28T22:17:00.000-07:00

so, i decided to create my own blog since everyone is blogging like almost everyday. Bukan nak cakap apa, but sometimes i easily get annoyed by those people who had blog as they keep on asking me to read their blog. oh well people, AMBIL ENGKAU. aku pun dah ada blog sekarang. and im very very very very proud of it *pout sikit* :X

but yea, i have to admit one thing that now i dont have any clue on what i should type/cerita/tell. i'm not a good writer or wtv but i know how to express my feeling by "typing" sejak my bf is far far far away from me and the only way to communicate with him is by chatting. so, nak express feeling to him kena la type kan. tapi x pe, practice practice and practice. (okay now im lost, what the heck am i trying to say again?) *thinking*

yay, finally after 10 minutes thinking on what i should type/cerita/tell, i came out with a topic. the topic is definitely ABOUT ME . so, the name's fieda and it is not a fake famous amous name okay. (well, bukan nak perasan or bla bla yada yada yada, but people know me & they call me "artis". *lol* but heck i dont know what kind of "artis" la kan. they are just being sarcastic. ) hmmph! ok ok chup! note to lynn, aidil, cixdia : terima kasih kerana berjaya came out with that nickname. kerana mu, saya famous) *wink*

so yea, I'm not manja, i'm not ayu, i'm not brutal, i'm not a freak, i'm not as smart as lee, i dont have a car license,(yet), i love britney, i hate hypocrites, i dont know how to cook (but i know how to fry burgers, nuggets, french fries, pelbagai jenis keropok , and i know how to make LAMB CHOP! yes, lamb chop people, lamb chop! trust me, bila dah try, u'll say "wallah! can i have one more please? please please pretty please?") & & & currently, im still waiting (patiently) for my sayang to come back, i love u baby! ;)

next, music. im an universal person. i listen to all kind of musics. but since the boyfriend is a "yo-yo-yo-what's-up-party-people-in-the-house?
-put-your-hands-up-in-the-air", i dont have any other choice except to listen to his hiphop songs over and over again. ( nak ambil hati lah di kata kan ) but now the song and the music dah tiba2 stuck in my head. pity amal, (my deary roommate) she has to listen to that kind of music 24/7. hehe. and oh oh! I'm now in the phase of making my own beat. (nak dengar? coming soon bebeh, ;) kalah dj tiesto :D * pout again*
tapi, apa salah nya if dengar lagu rock rock kapak sikit, rock rock indie, rock rock karat, rock rock cinta, apa apa rock la kan. yang penting layannnnnn. bak kata enzo, "hidup kena rock!".

i shopping. i dresses, i plain colour, i flowery design, and i dont mind spending money as long as i get what i want. and tak suka bila ada lelaki ikut shopping because they will easily give bad comments on the things u choose. hmmph! i definitely enjoy myself bila daddy join sekali. tapi most of the time dia cakap "kakak, that baju is too tight for you, too short, bla bla bla" so, the percentage "enjoy" tadi menurun. So the best way = go out with girlfriends, buy new clothes, try to spot hot guys (yummy... yummy?) , and gossip gossip".

"Party or club?" the question is sama macam "nasi kerabu or burger?" as for me, im more into partying (which is nasi kerabu. haha, x ada kaitan i know) because i can meet my long long long lost friends and the best part is "snap snap pictures and upload them at myspace, facebook. haha kan?*". but certain people think partying is one activity that can spoil u and boleh bawa ke jalan yang salah. tapi it depends on the person. if u want to be a zombie, be it. if u want to have fun with your friends, apa salahnya. but before anything bad happen, the important thing to do = set the mindset or else things will get worse. I'm NOT an expert ke or apa, it is just an opinion from me. ;)

lupa pulak, i have girlfriends (enzo and mabeb are included). i love them like i love justin timberlake. ;) haha